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eMpTy Minds Radio #644

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“From the backdoor of your
_life you swept me out, dear.
_In bread-line of your dreams
_I lost my place. At the table
_of your love I got the brush
_off. At the Indianapolis of
_your heat I lost the race. I’ve
_been washed down the sink
_of your conscience. In the
_theater of your love I lost my
_part. And you say you’ve
_gotten me out of your system.
_I’ve been flushed from the
_bathroom of your heart…“

EM NEWS
– Rolling Thunder
– Dig A Hole
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — squad room antics
– Hagar, Grohl, Stahl
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current So-Cal location)
– Analog Head-Trip get personal
– Podcast Jokes
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #643

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Domo arigato, Misuta Robotto.
_You’re wondering who I am.
_Machine or mannequin. With
_parts made in Japan. I am
_the modern man. I’ve got a
_secret I’ve been hiding,
_under my skin. My heart is
_human. My blood is boiling.
_My brain IBM. So, if you see
_me acting strangely, don’t be
_surprised. I’m just man who
_needed someone, and some-
_where to hide…“

EM NEWS
– Seriously, This Shit Is Easy
– Holy Shit! Now, That’s A Whataburger!
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — jungle comradery
– Baldwin, Anderson, Coppola
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current So-Cal location)
– Techin’ It Up The Ass talks back up
– More Awful Bar Jokes
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #642

“I live my life like there’s no
_tomorrow. And all I’ve got I
_had to steal. Least I don’t
_need to beg or borrow. Yes,
_I’m living at a pace that
_kills. Oh yeah, I’m runnin’
_with the devil. Runnin’
_with the devil. I found the
_simple life ain’t so simple.
_When I jumped out on that
_road…“

EM NEWS
– What A Low-Life
– Ze Mystery Tremors
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — rost in transration
– Benjamin, Brown, Tyler
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current So-Cal location)
– Awful, Awful, Awful …Walks Into A Bar Jokes
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #641

“Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn
_to? You give me something I
_can hold onto. I know you’ll
_think I’m like the others
_before, who saw your name
_and number on the wall.
_Jenny, I’ve got your number.
_I need to make you mine.
_Jenny, don’t change that
_number — eight-six-seven-
_five-three-oh-nine…“

EM NEWS
– Help! Somebody Help Me!
– Beer Me
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — bordering on insanity
– Sajak, White, Stern
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Techin’ It Up The Ass
– Paulie’s LA Picture Cavalcade (pics on our FB pages)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #640

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“After dark, the pandas stalk.
_Nightmare creatures with
_black hearts. Ravenous
_teeth that glow in the dark.
_Feasting on bums that sleep
_in the park. The pandas are
_coming, so hide under your
_beds. The pandas are coming,
_they’ll rip your ass to shreds.
_The pandas are coming to rip
_off your head…“

EM NEWS
– The Galactic Gobble
– Pour Me Another Round, Kid
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — off this week
– Stallone, Welliver, Connelly
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Techin’ It Up The Ass
– The Initials Game
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #639

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Too big? Too small? Size does
_matter after all. Too big? Too
_small? It could be a little big-
_ger. Mercedes-Benz and the
_motorway; going abroad
_alone. Travel. Travel. Driving
_pleasure. I just want fun, not
_to fall in love. Just a little bit.
_Just a little, bitch. You have
_a pussy, I have a dick. So,
_what’s the problem? Let’s do
_it quick. So, take me now
_before it’s too late. Life’s
_too short, so I can’t wait.
_Take me now. Don’t you see?
_I can’t get laid in Germany.
_Too short? Too tall? Doesn’t
_matter – one size fits all. Too
_big. Too small…“

EM NEWS
– Sun’s Out. Buns out.
– When The Sucking Sucks
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — retrieving an egg
– Ellroy, Witherspoon, Carlyle
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Techin’ It Up The Ass
– Did You Hear The One About Jokes – The Final Insult
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #638

“Well, it’s show time…I’m
_feelin’ fine. Been drinkin’
_whiskey all day…in a stripper
_bar ready for hot T&A. Dirty
_li’l lady throwin’ down in my
_face, show me all the things
_you can do. Gimme a taste of
_your animal grace. The things
_you’ll do for a dollar bill or
_two. When you’re lyin’ on the
_floor spread eagle…“

EM NEWS
– Giant Devil’s Chocolate Bar
– Rats – Out of The Cellar
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso –making the grade
– Swift, Sands, Fingers
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Even More Shower Thoughts
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #637

“You yell out in defiance;
_you’re backed up against the
_wall. They’re up there
_clutching their guns, and it
_makes you feel real small.
_So, you can cuss, spit, throw
_bottles — broken glass. But
_it all ends up with handcuffs
_on your hands. You run
_around and spray paint;
_graffiti on everybody’s wall.
_You think that’s bitchin’,
_man. That ain’t nothin’ at
_all! So, you can cuss, spit,
_throw bottles — broken
_glass. But it ends up with
_a swift kick to your ass…“

EM NEWS
– Bus Driver Going Stag
– Now That’s A Big Monkey
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — they’re good, but not extraordinary
– Bettinelli-Olpin, Seinfeld, Biel
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– More Horrible “Did You Hear The One About…” Jokes
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #636

“Am gonna tell you what make
_my dick different from the
_rest y’all dick. Guys, I believe
_my dick can fly. Oh, I believe
_my balls can testify. All the
_good pussy that has come my
_way. And I bitchly fuck both
_night and day. I believe my
_dick can fly. Oh, listen and
_I’ll tell you why. Banging up
_body makes my dick want
_to rumble…“

EM NEWS
– Now That’s A Tasty-uh Meatball-uh
– Double The Clean
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — “I see nearly dead people…”
– Curtis, King, Jones
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Horrible “Did You Hear The One About…” Jokes
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #635

“When I get high, I get high
_on speed. Top fuel funny
_car’s a drug for me. My
_heart. My heart. Kick start
_my heart. Always got the
_cops comin’ after me.
_Custom built bike doing 103.
_My heart, my heart. Kick-
_start my heart. Oh…are
_you ready, girls? Oh…are
_you ready now? Whoa…
_yeah. Kick start my heart,
_give it a start. Whoa…yeah,
_baby. Whoa…yeah, kick start
_my heart, hope it never stops.
_Whoa…yeah, baby.“

EM NEWS
– Now That’s A Tasty-uh Meatball-uh
– Double The Clean
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — psycho with a camcorder
– Burkett, Funk, Hawk
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Analog Head-Trip
– We talk to The Colonel live (from his current So-Cal locale)
– Outrageous Signs (pics on our FB pages)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #634

“One foot on the brake and
_one on the gas, hey. Too
_much traffic, I can’t pass,
_no. So, I tried my best
_illegal move, a big black &
_white come and crushed
_my groove again. Go on
_and write me for 125. Post
_my face – wanted dead or
_alive. Take my license, all
_that jive. I can’t drive 55.
_So, I signed my name on
_number 24, hey. Yeah, the
_judge said “Boy, just one
_more, huh? I’m gonna throw
_your ass in the city joint…“

EM NEWS
– The Mad World of Animals & Drugs
– Mystery Food Is Here
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — between k-shaped & m-shaped
– Chan, Egerton, County
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Analog Head-Trip
– We talk to The Colonel live (from his current So-Cal locale)
– More Movie Poster Parodies (pics on our FB pages)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #633

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“Nobody gonna take my car,
_I’m gonna race it to the
_ground. Nobody gonna
_break my car, it’s gonna
_break the speed of sound.
_Oh…it’s a killing machine,
_it’s got everything. Like a
_driving power, big fat tires
_and everything. I love it.
_I need it. And I bleed it.
_Yeah, it’s a wild hurricane.
_Alright, hold tight. I’m a
_highway star. I’m a high-
_way star.“

EM NEWS
– Privilege Revoked
– A Starry Functional Fashion
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — with a whip!
– Schrader, Glitter, Presley
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits (St. Patty’s Style)
– Jerry tells bad St. Patty’s jokes
– The EMR St. Patty’s Day Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #632

“It’s a beach party, Vietnam.
_Surfing with the Viet-Cong.
_Cookin’ hot dogs with napalm.
_Beach party, Vietnam.
_Frankie & Annette were
_layin’ on the sand when
_Frankie got a letter from his
_Uncle Sam. It said: get Moon
_Dog and all your friends.
_You’re all invited to a beach
_party, Vietnam. Surfin’ with
_the Viet-Cong. Cookin’ hot
_dogs with napalm. A beach
_party, Vietnam. Hey, Frankie
_aren’t you gonna give me
_your class ring…?“

EM NEWS
– Cocaine Leopard
– Pro Bitch Slapping
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — the truth is out there
– Danson, Schur, Hensel
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The Colonel is on the line from So-Cal
– More Cognitive Biases
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio (EMR) #631

“Little bitty pretty one, come
_on and talk-a to me. Lovey
_dovey lovey one, come sit
_down on my knee. Tell you a
_story. Happened long time
_ago. A-little bitty pretty one,
_I’ve been watching you grow.
_Little bitty pretty one, come
_on and talk-a to me. Lovey
_dovery lovey one, come sit
_down on my knee. Ah-Ah-
_Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah. Mmm-
_mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-
_mmm-mmm-mmm. Little
_bitty pretty one…“

EM NEWS
– What’s My Name, Mufucka?
– Cholo, The Mexican Elf
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — small town gayety
– Bautista, Martin, Gomez, Short
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Analog Head-Trip
– The EMR Very Superstitious Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #630

“We’ve taken care of every-
_thing. The words you hear.
_The songs you sing. The pic-
_tures that give pleasure to
_your eyes. It’s one for all.
_All for one. We work to-
_gether common sons. Never
_need to wonder how or why.
_We are the priests of The
_Temples of Syrinx…“

EM NEWS
– Burn It To The Ground
– A New Way To Save Money
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — Whoa. Rock n’ Roll?
– Martindale, Sands, Banks
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Analog Head-Trip
– The EMR Blue & Green Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #629

“Instant Karma’s gonna get you.
_Gonna knock you right on the
_head. You better get yourself
_together. Pretty soon you’re
_gonna be dead. What in the
_world you thinking of? Laugh-
_ing in the face of love. What
_on earth you tryin’ to do? It’s
_up to you. Yeah you. Instant
_karma’s gonna get you. Gonna
_look you right in the face.
_Better get yourself together
_darlin’. Join the human race.
_How in the world you gonna
_see? Laughin’ at fools like me.
_Who in the hell d’you think
_you are? A super star?“

EM NEWS
– Exhausted Weiner
– Thanks For The Shitty Review
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — It’s a damn siege!
– Spielberg, Cruise, U2
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Analog Head-Trip
– The Classic Atari Arcade Super Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #628

“Purple haze all in my brain.
_Lately things just don’t seem
_the same. Actin’ funny, but
_I don’t know why. ‘Scuse me
_while I kiss the sky. Purple
_haze all around. Don’t know
_if I’m comin’ up or down. Am
_I happy or in misery? What-
_ever it is, that girl put a spell
_on me. Help me. Help me. Oh
_no no…“

EM NEWS
– Are They Dead Dead or Are They Dead?
– I’ve Got The Shakes
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — Call me, Paulie
– Fleetwood, Kazan, Stewart
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Funny As Fuck Fake Book Covers (pics on either of our FB pages)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #627

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“They give us a room with a
_view of the beautiful Rhine.
_They give us a room with a
_view of the beautiful Rhine.
_Gimme a muddy old creek
_in Texas any old time. I’ve
_got those hup, two, three,
_four, occupation G.I. blues.
_From my G.I. hair to the
_heels of my G.I. shoes. And
_if I don’t go stateside soon,
_I’m gonna blow my fuse. We
_get hasenpfeffer and black
_pumpernickel for chow. We
_get hasenpfeffer…“

EM NEWS
– It Might Have Big Feet. Don’t Mean It’s Bigfoot
– Bear Woke Up With Pants
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — Come out and play
– Baldwin, Hall, Holly
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Analog Head-Trip
– More Fake Mystery Book Covers (pics on our FB pages)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #626

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Mother do you think they’ll
_drop the bomb? Mother do
_you think they’ll like this
_song? Mother do you think
_they’ll try to break my balls?
_Ooh ahh, Mother, should I
_build a wall? Mother should
_I run for President? Mother
_should I trust the govern-
_ment? Mother will they put
_me in the firing line? Ooh
_aah, is it just a waste of
_time? Hush now, baby,
_baby, don’t you cry. Mama’s
_gonna make all of your night-
_mares come true…“

EM NEWS
– Time Is So Much Weirder Than It Seems
– High Schooler’s Grow Up So Fast
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — SNAFU
– Miller, Jackson, Seeger
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Techin’ It Up The Ass – overrated tech
– The Tough & Rando Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #625

“Well, I hate banks, I just can’t
_stand ’em. Gimme a shovel,
_and man, I’ll plant ’em. Six
_feet under is where they
_belong. I hate banks is the
_name of this song. I think I’ll
_rob myself one or two. I hate
_banks, yeah, how ’bout you?
_Well, lend me a nickel and
_lend me a dime. Repossess my
_house at any old time…“

EM NEWS
– Dans Dans Dans Da Naat Komplete
– Getting A Bone For New York
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — have you checked the children?
– Larroquette, Hooper, Freed
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– A quick Clamboy First Avenue update
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #624

“Out of the cocoa pads came
_the food of the Gods. Choc,
_choc, chocolate…chewy and
_gooey, sticky and sweet. Choc,
_choc, chocolate. I like bars
_that rocket to Mars. I gotta
_have a Hershey’s Kiss. You
_know I’d die for chocolate
_mud pie; send me to heaven-
_ly bliss. Choc, choc, choc,
_choc, choc, chocolate. Many
_years ago, in Mexico, Cortez
_found a bean he’d never seen.“

EM NEWS
– King Sitting In Man’s Car
– Oh Dear! What Am I Doing Here?
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — TERROR!
– Serling, Dre, Copeland
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays
– Analog Head-Trip

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The Big EMR Snow Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #623

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“Hot! Hot! Oh, we got it. Hot!
_Hot! Hey, we got it. Hot! Hot!
_Say, we got it. Hot chocolate!
_Hot! Hot! Oh, we got it. Hot!
_Hot! Hey, we got it. Hot! Hot!
_Say, we got it. Hot chocolate!
_Here we’ve only got one rule:
_never ever let it cool. Keep
_it cooking in the pot. You’ve
_got: hot choc-o-lat! Hot! Hot!
_Oh, we got it. Hot! Hot! Hey,
_we got it. Hot! Hot! Say, we
_got it. Hot chocolate!“

EM NEWS
– Holy Cow! What A Deal!
– Run Away! Run Away!
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — you really should try and catch it
– Jackman, Reynolds, Renner
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The Best Shower Thoughts of 2022
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #622

“The carolers hum, the holidays
_glow. Spirits are high, but the
_bank account’s low. So, Christ-
_mas in a coffee shop is fine
_with me, if I can be with you.
_The counter is sleek, the ser-
_vice deluxe. You in your
_diamonds and me in my tux.
_Having Christmas in a coffee
_shop for kicks; prix fixe, tres
_chic unique, you’ll see. Then
_we can take a stroll around
_the city...“

EM NEWS
– Doughnut Mess With The People
– Ain’t No Butts Allowed
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — the year end review
– Marley, Ferrell, Harrison
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd New Year’s Eve Tidbits
– The National Bacon Day Quiz
– Analog Head-Trip
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #621 – The Big Christmas Show

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENJAMMIN’
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR MUSICAL GUEST: SOLOCHECK
YOUR SPECIAL GUEST: CLAMBOY

“Trim up the tree with Christmas
_stuff like bingle balls & whofoo
_fluff. Trim up the town with
_goowho gums and bizilbix and
_wums. Trim every blessed win-
_dow and trim every blessed
_door. Hang up the whoboohoo
_bricks. Then run out and get
_some more. Hang pantookas on
_the ceiling. Pile pankunas on
_the floor…“

EM NEWS
– Tearful Holiday Tickets
– Bright Lights In The Sky
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — what a drag!
– Hall, Lohan, Noriega
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– The Stupid Tough Home Alone Quiz
– Jerry brings us a Santalog Head-Trip
– The Colonel plays a Christmas tune on his violin
– Clamboy’s big Christmas Cookie Quiz
– Solocheck plays two live Christmas songs on his keyboard
– A ton of additional Christmas fun
– So much more, your head will spin!

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eMpTy Minds Radio #620

“The weather outside is frightful,
_but the fire is so delightful.
_Since we’ve no place to go, let
_it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
_It doesn’t show signs of stopping,
_and I’ve brought some corn for
_popping. The lights are turned
_way down low. Let it snow, let
_it snow, let it snow. When we
_finally kiss goodnight, how I’ll
_hate going out in the storm. But,
_if you really hold me tight, all
_the way home I’ll be warm.
_The fire is slowly dying and my
_dear, we’re still goodbyeing. As
_long as you love me so, let it
_snow, let it snow, let it snow…“

EM NEWS
– The Slopes Were Full of Hoes
– Moo-Humbug!
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — gets its creep on
– Helms, Goonies, King
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– The “It Happened In December Quiz”
– A intentionally Shitty Analog Head-Trip
– EMR A.I. compliments of Cousin John
– So much more, your head will spin!

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eMpTy Minds Radio #619

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“I’d sit alone and watch your light.
_My only friend through teenage
_nights. And everything I had to
_know, I head it on my radio. You
_gave them all those old time
_stars. Through war of worlds;
_invaded by mars. You made ’em
_laugh. You made ’em cry. You
_made us feel like we could fly.
_So, don’t become some back-
_ground noise. A backdrop for
_the girls and boys who just don’t
_know or just don’t care, and
_just complain when you’re not
_there. You had your time, you
_had the power. You’ve yet to
_have your finest hour. All we
_hear is radio ga ga…“

EM NEWS
– Snowplow Drives Home Important Message
– Run Santa Run
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — is hip deep in shitters
– Banning, Stewart, Carey
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– Name That Pastry (pics on our FB pages)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #618

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“Young, velvet, porcelain boy,
_devour me when you’re with
_me. Blue wish window seas
_speak delicious fires. I’m your
_candy perfume girl. Your candy
_perfume girl. Moist, warm
_desire. Fly to me. I’m your
_candy perfume girl. Your candy
_perfume girl. I’m your candy
_perfume girl. Candy. Candy.
_Rush me ghost you see. Every
_center my home. Fever steam
_girl, throb the oceans. You’re a
_candy perfume girl…“

EM NEWS
– Dream A Little Dream of Fuzzy Friends
– Ze Grumpy Old Lady
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — is having a rough go
– Tarantino, Jackson, Colbert
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– Again, Knockoff Toys (pics on our FB pages)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #617

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“This song is called…this song is
_called Bacon Skin. Hit me. It’s
_dedicated to my first wife. Her
_name is, oh Lord, Cloreen. She’s
_just fat. Hit me. Too nasty, I
_said now. Big dumb you. You,
_Bacon Skin. Just fat, but you
_know where it’s at. I wish you
_was thin, Cloreen Bacon Skin.
_Brotch, you can’t fuck with that.
_Look out!“

EM NEWS
– Fast Food Chain’s Unexpected Delivery Options
– Unintentional Cat-napping
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — a Double Feature!
– Leno, Iger, Chapek
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– Techin’ It Up The Ass – Tech Turkeys 2022
– The Big EMR Black Friday Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #616

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
SPECIAL MUSICAL GUEST: SOLOCHEK

“Too old, too old. He’s too old to
_cut the mustard anymore. He’s
_getting too old, he done got too
_old. He’s too old to cut the
_mustard anymore. When I was
_young, I had a lotta pep. I could
_get around, didn’t need no help.
_But now you’re old and a gettin’
_gray. The people all look at you
_and say — Too old, too old, he’s
_too old to cut the mustard any-
_more. He’s gettin’ too old. He
_done got too old...“

EM NEWS
– Fucking People! Fu-u-u-ucking People!
– An Ear-ie Partnership
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — she’s a good girl
– Stewart, Chapelle, John
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– We chat with, do MadLibs with & enjoy the music of Solochek
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #615

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SPECIAL GUEST: WERNER

“Well, I walked ’round the corner,
_and I walked ’round the block,
_and I walked right into a bakery
_shop. I picked up a doughnut, and
_I wiped off the grease and I
_handed the lady a five cent piece.
_Well, she looked at the doughnut,
_and she looked at me and she said
_“Hey, mister, you can plainly see…
_There’s a hole in the nickel. There’s
_a hole right through.” Said I, “There’s
_a hole in the doughnut too. Thanks
_for the doughnut. Goodbye.“

EM NEWS
– Toad Tripping
– Excuse Me, Is This Your Chicken?
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — political kidnapping
– Chapman, Whedon, Minnelli
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with special guest Werner (AKA Mr. Bumble)
– A Quiz of The Weird
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #614

“Potato chips, how my mouth just drips.
_Potato chips, how my mouth just drips.
_Crunch, crunch, I don’t want no lunch.
_All I want is potato chips. Potato chips,
_how my mouth just drips.Potato chips,
_how my mouth just drips. Crunch,
_crunch, I don’t want no lunch. All I
_want is potato chips. No matter where
_it is, you’ll always find a bag around.
_Be it in a bar or picnic, even a base-
_ball ground. Potato chips, how my
_mouth just drips. Potato chips, drip,
_drips. Crunch, crunch, I don’t want no
_lunch. All I want is potato chips. Bag,
_bag, bag, Bag of potato chips. Potato
_chips, high crunchy, crunchy. Potato
_chips, crunch, crunchy, crunchy.
_Crunch, crunch, crunch, I don’t want
_no lunch. All I want is potato chips.
_Chip, oh those potato-tato chips.
_Potato, potato, a chippy-chippo.
_Crunch, crunch, don’t want no lunch.
_All I want is potato chips.“

EM NEWS
– The Flip Side of Art
– Long Distance Travel Is….You Guessed It…For The Birds
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — a serious matter
– King, Saget, John
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– A Bad Norm Macdonald Impersonator Reads A Penthouse Letter
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #613 The Big Halloween Show

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOST: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SPECIAL GUEST: COUSIN TODD

“You better run, you better hide,
_we gotta keep you out of sight.
_Be careful, Sigmund. Cover your
_tracks when you leave, ’cause
_you know Zelda won’t believe
_your friend is Sigmund. Who
_ever heard of a friendly sea-
_monster lovin’ and laughin’ his
_life away? You better run, you
_better hide, we gotta keep you
_out of sight. Be careful, Sigmund.
_The other monsters put you
_down, ’cause you’re not mean
_and now we’ve found a friend
_in Sigmund.“

EM NEWS
– Beez On The Loose
– Shhh…I’m Hunting For Wabbits
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — a double monster feature
– Bell, Bass, Howard
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Analog Headless-Trip
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The EMR Scare-tastic Super Quiz
– A Five Minute Cinema
– A bunch of other Halloween nonsense
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #612

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOST: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Monsterkind is all agreed, when
_you find a friend in need you
_extend a tentacle or paw. We
_are all one family bound by
_ghoulish unity, we adhere to
_one hair-raising law. A monster
_always lends a helping claw. If
_you’re in a prickly plight, don’t
_go down without a fright. Call
_your friends, they’ll always
_understand. Zombie, ogre, witch
_or ghoul, they’ll obey the ghostly
_rule, we’re all part of one big
_beastly band. A monster always
_lends a helping hand. Don’t
_despair, just wait and see, we’ll
_save our favorite B&B. With a
_little spooky shock and awe, a
_monster always lends a helping
_claw.“

EM NEWS
– Inspector Is A Real Jerk Off
– Not OUR Monster
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — is just tryin’ to stay dry
– Lee, Gordon, Theron
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Analog Head-Trip
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current SoCal location)
– A Fuck Off! rant
– The Gotta Get Back In Time Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #611

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOST: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“In the time of demons and rulers,
_the desert was stable. Only to
_deteriorate into war, as soon as
_they had forsaken these lands
_into humanity’s control. It was a
_curse that was set upon these
_lands by genie who roamed the
_ancient lands of Mesopotamia.
_As humans took hold of the
_land, chaos embarked along.
_They hover above grinning; they
_knew peace would be gone. Iran,
_Iraq, Lebanon and Syria controlled
_by terror…“

EM NEWS
– This Stuff’s Made In North Carolina! Get A Rope.
– Trouser Snakes
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — Costello’s Killin’ It
– Lansbury, Pratt, Finke
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Analog Head-Trip
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current SoCal location)
– The Easiest Damned Quiz Ever
– A call from our old friend Daryl in Beaverdale, PA.
– So much more, your head will spin!

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eMpTy Minds Radio #610

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOST: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Remember somewhere in ’52,
_I met you. Somewhere in ’52,
_you kissed me. Somewhere…
_oh my. Oh kiss me, baby.
_Don’t you make me mad. I
_can make you forget all that
_you never had. Oh kiss me,
_baby. I can’t divine if you
_ever wanted me or got
_caught between the devil
_and the creature from the
_haunted sea. Oh kiss me,
_baby. I’ll make you forget
_what you’ve got on your mind.
_Oh kiss my full lips. They’re
_nice, you bet. So kiss them,
_baby…“

EM NEWS
– California Walkin’ The Walk
– Chess Champion Anal About Losing
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — It’s as easy as 1,2,3
– Russell, Beckham, Cruise
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Analog Head-Trip
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Paulie’s Canoeing Picture Cavalcade (pictures on our FB pages)
– Tommy’s Arizona & Vegas Picture Cavalcade (pictures on our FB pages)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio – A Flashback To The Big Episode #400

Your host, Tommy, is out of town for a bit, so in lieu of Episode #611, we are presenting you a re-play of The Big 400th episode, from just over four years ago. The theme picture is (as seen below) Seven-Thirty Express Blended Whiskey by The American Liquor Company. This is Episode 400. Check it out!!!!

YOUR HOST: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS MAN: GARRY
YOUR SPECIAL GUEST: COUSIN TODD

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eMpTy Minds Radio – A Flashback To Episode #439

Your host, Tommy, is out of town for a bit, so in lieu of Episode #610, we are presenting you a re-play of Tabitha’s very first show (Episode #439). The theme picture is (as seen below) Royal Knight Blended Whiskey by The American Liquor Company. This is Episode 439. Check it out!!!!

YOUR HOST: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #609

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOST: TOMMY
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“Standing in that silent hall,
_waitin’ for that final call. Says
_he doesn’t love me anymore.
_Shaking hands, I pack a bag;
_trembling voice, I call a cab.
_Slowly I start walking to the
_door. Cab arrives, he blows his
_horn. I stumble at in the early
_morn. Tell him of the place I’ve
_got to go. A hundred signal
_lights; I’ve paid the bills and a
_traffic fine. Gettin’ through
_these doors that’s been so slow.
_LA International Airport, where
_the big jet engines roar…“

EM NEWS
– Attack of The Arachnids
– Oops! Far Right Party Gives Out Questionable Gummies
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — NOT TONIGHT
– Godard, Lewis, Ruffalo
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Techin’ It Up The Ass
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The Big EMR TV Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #608

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SPECIAL GUEST: THE COLONEL
YOUR SPECIAL GUEST: ARTHUR

“Rye whiskey, rye whiskey, rye
_whiskey…I cry. If I don’t get
_rye whiskey, I surely will die.
_If the ocean was whiskey and I
_was a duck. I’d swim to the
_bottom and never come up. I’d
_swim to the bottom and never
_come up. I live on Clintch
_Mountain and wander alone. As
_drunk as the devil, so leave me
_alone. Rye whiskey, rye whiskey,
_rye whiskey…I cry. If I don’t get
_rye whiskey, I surely will die…“

EM NEWS
– The Bots of The Museum
– Stop Bike Theft In Its Tra…
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — he’s talented
– Brando, Waters, Musk
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– The Colonel is on the line from So-Cal
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The EMR A Camping We Will Go Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

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eMpTy Minds Radio #607

“Oh…she gave me moonshine
_whiskey. Oh…she gave me
_southern love. Deep in the
_heart of Texas, there beneath
_the stars above. Oh…she give
_me southern comfort. Oh…she
_give me moonshine love. Deep
_in the heart of Texas. There be-
_neath the stars above. Here I
_am riding on a train. Just about
_thunderballs down the line.
_Just can’t wait any longer. See
_that little darlin’ of mine. See
_that little darlin’ of mine. Deep
_in the heart of Texas…“

EM NEWS
– Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Boater
– The Pengy’s New Shoes
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — it’s all about his past
– Gunn, Williams, Sofer
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– The Colonel is on the line from So-Cal
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Analog Head-Trip
– The Big EMR Home State Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #606

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“I said chatterbox. I said you
_squawk a lot. C’mon gimme
_some lips, yeah chatterbox.
_I call you up, don’t give me no
_line. I’m comin’ in your home
_on the chatterline. All dressed
_up; I got nowhere to go. Seems
_like a fun night on the telephone.
_I said chatterbox…“

EM NEWS
– Park Ride Gone Wild
– Spicy Summer Hot Spots
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — Triple Feature
– Maslany, Diesel, Smith
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– The Colonel is on the line from So-Cal
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Another EMR Mixed Bag O’ Trivia
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #605

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your assault on stupidity. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Welcome to the show, new listener and regulars. Thanks for listening. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“Rag doll, livin’ in a movie. Hot
_tramp, Daddy’s little cutie.
_You’re so fine, they’ll never see
_you leavin’ by the back door,
_Ma’am. Hot times, get it while
_it’s easy. I don’t mind, come on
_up and see me. Rag doll, baby,
_won’t you do me like you done
_before? I’m feelin’ like a bad
_boy. Hmmm…just like a bad
_boy. I’m rippin’ up a rag doll,
_like throwin’ away an old toy.
_Some babe’s talkin’ real loud.
_Talkin’ all about the new crowd…“

EM NEWS
– Rock What You’ve Got
– Party Side Effects
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — Fuck The Man!
– Petersen, Jackson, Hetfield
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– The Colonel is on the line from So-Cal
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Paulie’s LA Picture Cavalcade
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #604

“The machinist climbs his Ferris
_Wheel like a brave. And the
_fire-eater’s lyin’ in a pool of
_sweat, victim of the heat-wave.
_Behind the tent, the hired hand
_tightens his legs on the sword-
_swallower’s blade. Circus Town’s
_on the short wave. Well, the
_runway lies ahead, like a great
_false dawn. Oh, Fat Lady, BIg
_Mama, Missy Bimbo sits in her
_chair and yawns. And the Man-
_Beast lies in his cage sniffin’
_popcorn…“

EM NEWS
– Cylindrical Dairy Seeks Square Departure
– The French Meat Star
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — (none this week, kids)
– Shatner, Rock, Nichols
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Analog Head-Trip – “Infinite”
– The Colonel is on the line from Zion
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Shower Thoughts
– So much more, your head will spin!

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eMpTy Minds Radio #603

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY

“Boom, boom, boom, boom. I’m
_gonna shoot you right down.
_Right off your feet. Take you
_home with me. Put you in my
_house. Boom, boom, boom,
_boom. Mmm…hmmm…
_Mmm….hmmm. I love to see
_you walk up and down the
_floor. When you talking to me,
_that baby talk…“

EM NEWS
– Judging Your Social Message
– Be Cool. Fuck Ties!
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — is making blue enemies
– Stallone, Grace, Seacrest
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Analog Head-Trip
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Paulie name drops future EMR guests
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #602

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“If there’s something strange in
_your neighborhood. Who you
_gonna call? Ghostbusters. If
_there’s something weird, and it
_don’t look good. Who you gonna
_call? Ghostbusters. I ain’t ‘fraid
_of no ghost. I ain’t ‘fraid of no
_ghost. If you’re seeing things
_running through your head.
_Who can you call? Ghostbusters.
_An invisible man sleepin’ in
_your bed. Ow! Who you gonna
_call? Ghostbusters. I ain’t ‘fraid
_of no ghost…“

EM NEWS
– Free Carrot Top Show
– Take That You Snot-Nosed Human
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — is in social peril
– Jennings, Bialik, Christian
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– Paulie name drops future EMR guests
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #601

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“Mug, mug, mug…coffee mug
_gonna clear away the haze.
_Liquid proof. That I can win this
_race. Coffee mug. The grip that
_keeps me tall. My inter-link
_keeps me questing all. Coffee
_mug..

EM NEWS
– Shaking Up The Gardening Game
– The Little Nose That Could
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — Mouse!
– Wood, Costello, Simpson
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #600 (The Big 600th)

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI
YOUR SPECIAL GUEST: CLAMBOY

“I never thought my life could be
_anything but catastrophe. But
_suddenly I begin to see a bit of
_good luck for me. ‘Cause I got a
_Golden Ticket. I got a golden
_twinkle in my eye. I got a Golden
_Ticket...“

EM NEWS
– Abnormal Get Away Vehicle
– Underwater Entertainment
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — a double feature, Kids!
– Koepp, Cruise, Rourke
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– A Five Minute Cinema
– 600 Things
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– Clamboy’s Tropical Beach Bar
– Vegas, Baby! The EMR Vegas Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #599

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR CAVALCADE KID: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“I think you planned your escape
_because you refused to go down
_in flames. Just slip away in a
_dream and let the fog envelop
_you in sleep. You left me thous-
_ands of clues. I see one every
_time that I read the news. List-
_ening to backwards melodies; a
_sound that echoes through the
_centuries. Time it slips away. I
_think about you every day. And
_you stay the same age as I get
_old. Left in disarray as I watch
_you fade away...

EM NEWS
– Would You Like Fries With That?
– Honesty Is The Best Policy. Or Is It?
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — delves into a lonely place
– Brown, Allen, Presley
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Analog Head-Trip
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– The Big EMR Frozen Novelties Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #598

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR CAVALCADE KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“I feel like I’m pounding on a big
_door. No one can hear me knock-
_ing. I feel like I’m falling flat to
_the floor. No one can catch me
_from falling. The hourglass has
_no more grains of sand. My watch
_has stopped; no more turning
_hands. The crew have abandon-
_ed ship. The lights are on, but
_no one is in. Take it to the
_bridge; throw it overboard. See
_if it can swim back up to the
_shore. No one is in the house.
_All the lights are on...”

EM NEWS
– Big Baby Goes Too Far
– Fluffy Crusty Sea Creatures
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso — there’s not a problem.
– Depp, Gosling, Carrey
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Jerry’s Vegas Picture Cavalcade Pt. II (pics on our FB pages)
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– Paulie’s LA Picture Cavalcade (pics on our FB pages)
– Minnesota Vice
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #597

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: 6/8 NATE
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“I say F-I. F-I-N. F-I-N-K. Fink. F-I-
_N-K. Fink. Fink. Fink. Fink. I say
_R-A. R-A-T. R-A-T-T-F-I-N-K. Rat
_Fink. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
_Yeah. Rat Fink Yeah, yeah, yeah,
_yeah, yeah. Rat Fink. Yeah, yeah,
_yeah, yeah, yeah. Rat Fink. Yeah,
_yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rat Fink.
_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. R-
_A-T-T-F-I-N-K. Rat Fink. You fink!
_I say A-B. A-B-C. A-B-C-D. A-B-C-
_D-E-F-G. I. I say F-I. F-I-N. F-I-N-
_K. Fink. Fink. Fink. Fink. Rat
_Fink.”

EM NEWS
– Give Us Our Dust n’ Bugs Back
– Environmental Hazards Coming Full Circle
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso (not this week, kiddos)
– Colbert, Cosby, Wahlberg
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Jerry’s Vegas Picture Cavalcade (pics on our FB pages)
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– The Big EMR Mixed Bag of People Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #596

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“Well I’m a rollin’ daddy with a mean
_machine. It’s got a V8 motor and it
_sure is clean. I’m a hot rod man,
_yeah, I’m a hot rod man. Look out
_Little mamma, gonna git you if I
_can. I got a cowboy Caddy with a
_custom seat; it’s leatherette all
_rolled and pleat. Come on little
_mama, sit by my side. You and
_your daddy are gonna go for a ride.”

EM NEWS
– Caught Sleepin’ On The Job
– The Many Colors of Nature
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso (not this week, kiddos)
– Hall, Caine, Osbourne
– The Ticker Flashback
– Analog Head-Trip
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– The Big EMR B&J Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #595

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“It was late at night when he first
_hit town, his eyes were gold and
_blue. Then his mind fussed and he
_laid it down, like he had a job to
_do. The Gasser’s what they called
_him ’cause he always acted rough.
_The Gasser’s what they called him
_’cause he always acted tough. He’d
_ridden all night, all through the
_rain, though no one really knew
_why. He acted real strange and
_never gave his name, for he was
_a real strange guy. The Gasser’s
_what they called him…”

EM NEWS
– The Truth Shall Set Them Free
– There’s A Cougar In Class
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso leads itself astray
– Spielberg, Hanks, Cosby
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Techin’ It Up The Ass
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– The EMR Chinese Lost In Translation Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #594

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Now, you’ve heard the story of the
_hot rod race when the Fords and
_Mercury were setting the pace.
_That story is true I’m here to say,
_’cause I was driving that Model A.
_She’s got a Lincoln motor and it’s
_really souped up, that Model A
_body makes it look like a pup. It’s
_got eight cylinders and it uses
_them all with an overdrive that
_just won’t stall…“

EM NEWS
– You Want Snake Fries With That?
– All VIPs Will Receive A Personal Greeting
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso goes a bit bonkers
– Chamitoff, Madonna, King
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Analog Head-Trip
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– Random rounds of The Initials Game
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #593

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“If you were sunburned, I wouldn’t
_say you look like a lobster. And if I
_bought Twizzlers, I’d offer you like
_one or two. And if someone called
_you a hussy, I’d tell ’em to shove it.
_And if you missed the bus, I’d miss
_you more than before you were
_missing. Other girls burn, they
_need water too. But they’ll have to
_fry, this buckets for you. And other
_girls want a Twizzler or two…“

EM NEWS
– Robo-Spiders
– I Can Feel It In My Bones
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso takes to the field
– Cosby, Garland, Holly
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– Great Movie Poster Mashups (pics on our FB pages)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #592

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Once a year we throw a party
_here in town. Once a year we
_turn all Paris upside down. Ev’ry
_man’s a king and ev’ry king’s a
_clown. Once again it’s Topsy Turvy
_Day. It’s the day the devil in us
_gets released. It’s the day we mock
_the prig and shock the priest. Ev’ry-
_thing is topsy turvy at the feast of
_fools. Topsy turvy. Ev’rything is
_upsy daysy. Topsy turvy. Ev’ryone
_is acting crazy. Dross is gold and
_weeds are a bouquet. That’s the
_way on Topsy Turvy Day. That’s the
_way on Topsy Turvy Day…“

EM NEWS
– A Stranger In Our Bed
– Beefy Manager Gave Shake An Extra Shake
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is stuck in the middle
– Mirren, Ford, Moore
– The Ticker Flashback
– Analog Head-Trip
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We chat with The Colonel (from his current So-Cal locale)
– The Big EMR 1980s Date Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #591

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHBASTARD: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“Cherry blossoms in the air tonight.
_Cherry blossoms in the air. Cherry
_blossoms in the air tonight. Cherry
_blossoms in her hair. No one has
_broken through her defense be-
_fore. No one has seen what’s be-
_hind those closed doors. I’ll sneak
_into her castle some day. I’ll make
_sure nothing gets in my way.
_Cherry blossoms in the air tonight.
_Cherry blossoms in the air. Cherry
_blossoms in the air tonight…“

EM NEWS
– Urine Luck!
– Flying On A Prayer
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso takes a monumental ride
– Jackman, Monroe, Lean
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Techin’ It Up The Ass poses a question
– A Friday The 13th related quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #590

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“Sugar. Oh, honey, honey. You are
_my candy girl and you got me
_wanting you. Honey. Oh, sugar,
_sugar. You are my candy girl and
_you got me wanting you. I just
_can’t believe the loveliness of
_loving you. I just can’t believe
_it’s true, I just can’t believe..the
_wonder of this feeling too. I just
_can’t believe it’s true. Ah, Sugar.
_Oh…honey, honey. You are my
_candy girl and you got me want-
_ing you. When I kissed you, girl,
_I knew how sweet a kiss could be.
_I know how sweet a kiss can be.
_Like the summer sunshine,
_pour your sweetness over me.
_Oh, oh, oh, oh…sugar, pour a
_little sugar on it, honey…“

EM NEWS
– What’s In Your Mug?
– Penguins In Search of New Friends
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is hopped up on goofballs
– Heard, Murray, Springsteen
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– More God-Damned Amazon Reviews
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #589

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY

“I was alone. I was all by myself.
_No one was looking. I was thinking
_of you. Oh yeah, did I mention, I
_was all by myself? All by myself.
_All by myself. All by myself. I
_went to your house, but no one
_was there. I went in your room.
_I was all by myself. You and me
_had such wonderful times, when
_I‘m all by myself. All by myself. You
_and me had such wonderful times
_when I’m all by myself. All by my-
_self. All by myself.“

EM NEWS
– Really Shitty Reception
– Dumpster Art Rescued By Mr. Whipple
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso has a secret
– Musk, Holland, Stewart
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Analog Head-Trip asks — Do you like Ska?
– More Hysterical Amazon Reviews
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal) & he gets quizzed
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #588

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“In a world of privilege I was not
_born, but the devotion to free-
_dom and liberty I was sworn. So,
_every emotion is studied; watch-
_ed their control. Who gets played,
_who gets disciplined, who gets
_born. So, transmitting beams, my
_coordinates, anywhere on earth.
_And as radio waves, surveillance,
_satellite bursts. Open up your
_skull and let some knowledge
_come in. Yeah, crack open the
_cranium and let awareness begin.
_And I don’t even know why. The
_truth seems like a lie. In my cell
_there is no sky. When I was
_arrested in Shanghai…“

EM NEWS
– Time To Get It On, Kids
– The Loch Ness Monster Is A Real Dick!
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso takes to the canals
– Nance, Collins, Matthews
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– Even More Knockoff Toys (pictures on our FB pages)
– Analog Head-Trip
– Some hysterical Amazon reviews
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal) & he gets quizzed
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio # 587

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“On the day I was born, the nurses
_all gathered ’round, and they
_gazed in wide wonder, at the joy
_they had found. The head nurse
_spoke up, she said “Leave this
_one alone.” She could tell right
_away, that I was bad to the bone.
_Bad to the bone. Bad to the bone.
_Bah-bah-bah-bad. Bah-bah-bah-
_bad. Bad to the bone. I broke a
_thousand hearts, before I met you.
_I’ll break a thousand more, baby,
_before I am through. I wanna be
_yours pretty baby. Yours and yours
_alone. I’m here to tell you, honey,
_that I’m bad to the bone…“

EM NEWS
– Takin’ A Short Ride With The Pig Creature
– DH Hell Air Cargo Services
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso meets the new century
– Gottfried, Brown, Roberts
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– More Fucked Up Fake Book Covers (pics on our FB pages)
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #586

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“I caught you knockin’ at my cellar
_door. I love you, baby, can I have
_some more? Oh…oh, the damage
_done. I hit the city and I lost my
_band. I watched the needle take
_another man. Gone…gone, the
_damage done. I sing the song
_because I love the man. I know
_that some of you don’t under-
_stand. Milk blood to keep from
_running out. I’ve seen the needle
_and the damage done. A little
_part of it in everyone. But every
_junkie’s like a settin’ sun. I’ve
_seen the needle and the damage
_done…“

EM NEWS
– Colorado Ain’t Hearin’ It, Tyson
– Super Aerospace Monkey Reality
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso takes a peek
– Rock, Kardashian, Seacrest
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– More Knockoff Toys (pics on our FB pages)
– Analog Head-Trip
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #585

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“This time the bullet cold rocked
_ya. A yellow ribbon instead of a
_swastika. Nothin’ proper about
_ya propaganda. Fools follow rules
_when the set commands ya. Said
_it was blue when your blood was
_read. Blasted through ya head.
_Blast through ya head. I give a
_shout out to the living dead.
_Who stood and watched as the
_Feds cold centralized. So serene
_on the screen, you were mes-
_merized. Cellular phones soundin’
_a death tone, corporations cold…“

EM NEWS
– Bastards, Bitches & Beaches
– Futuristic Commuter
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso in a conundrum of faith
– Smith, Hawkins, Rock
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– An EMR April Fool’s Day Quiz
– Analog Head-Trip
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #584

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: 6/8 NATE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Welcome to my nightmare. I
_think you’re gonna like it. I
_think you’re gonna feel you be-
_long. A nocturnal vacation. A
_necessary sedation. You wanna
_feel at home ’cause you belong.
_Welcome to my nightmare…“

EM NEWS
– When The Crane Becomes A Pain
– Another Online Challenge For More Online Idiots
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso snaps bird shots
– Povich, Chaplin, Cash
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– An all new 5 Minute Cinema
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #583

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Lounging in the living room in
_long johns. More distant than
_Victoria to St. John’s. Trying to
_use a record to repair my heart.
_I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want
_to start again. You’re leaving me
_high and Canada Dry. I’m out of
_your head and I’m losing my
_mind…“

EM NEWS
– Hump Day Arrives Early
– This Is A Real Pickle
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is gritty in the city
– Hurt, Cumberbatch, Summer
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– An all new 5 Minute Cinema
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #582

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“Pin-bot circuits activated. Pin-bot
_circuits activated. I am in your
_control, just give that metal plun-
_ger a pull. It was only a partial
_link-up, but now I see you. Now, I
_see you. It’s time to shoot for
_solar value…solar value…“

EM NEWS
– When Icy Turns Dicey
– It’s A Shitty Way To Go
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso goes “clubbin'”
– Anderson, DiPietro, Morrison
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– An all new 5 Minute Cinema
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– Analog Head-Trip
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #581

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Think of all the animals you’ve ever
_heard about. Like rhinoceroses and
_tigers, cats and mink. There are
_lots of funny animals in all this
_world. But have you ever seen a
_panther that is pink? Think! A
_panther that is positively pink.
_Well, here he is — The Pink
_Panther. The Pink Panther.
_Ev’rybody loves a panther that’s
_pink. He’s a really groovy cat…“

EM NEWS
– That’s A Sharp Look
– Little Miss Racy Cakes
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso doubles down in a nightmarish way
– Snider, Hogan, Zappa
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– EMR Presents: Funny Songs or Poems From Comedies
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #580

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG-KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Once in your life you find her,
_someone that turns your heart
_around. And next thing you
_know you’re closing down the
_town. Wake up and it’s still with
_you, even though you left her
_way across town. Wondering to
_yourself “What’ve I found?”
_When you get caught between
_the moon and New York City, I
_know it’s crazy, but it’s true. If
_you get caught between the
_moon and New York City, the
_best that you can do. The best
_that you can do is fall in love.“

EM NEWS
– Thai Hai
– The Below Average Bomb Threatist
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso sings a song
– Lanegan, Kraft, Nicks
– Analog Head-Trip
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The Fun Times EMR Etymology Quiz
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #579

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“I’m like a snail; you’re a guy.
_Kinda mad I can’t fly. When it’s
_day, hide away, but come out
_when it rains. Wonder why you
_stay inside. I can’t talk, can’t
_speak my mind. Why you
_wanna waste your time? Why
_don’t you join me outside?
_Everything is good. Everything
_is fine. Thought I’d let you know,
_having a great time…“

EM NEWS
– Aaaagh…My Squirrel Hole Itches
– Fuck Nike, They’re Slave Drivers
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso hits bottom
– Baldwin, Reitman, Twain
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The Big Bad EMR Battery Quiz
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– Paulie hits us with an impromptu Fuck Off! rant
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #578

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“I’m called a cow. I’m not about to
_blow it now for all the cows. For
_all the cows. It’s funny how
_money allows for all to browse
_and be endowed. This wish is
_true. It falls into pieces new, the
_cow is you. The cow is you. My
_kind has all run out, as if kinds
_could blend. Some time if time
_allows…everything worn in.
_everything worn in...“

EM NEWS
– The Great Cheese Shelf Disaster
– Birds of A Feather Fuck Up Miami Together
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso done it
– Diller, Douglas, Neil
– Analog Head-Trip
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The EMR Mixed Bag Quiz #5612
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #577

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“I still have your clothespin, I wish
_I could clip on again sometimes. I
_didn’t know what to do. Yeah,
_yeah, yeah. While you visit what
_you want, you don’t need to re-
_lapse. You’ll never clip on again,
_and that’s just what it is – surpass.
_But if I leave a dream in summers,
_I’ll have a wheel worse than that.
_The last time, two. I still have
_your clothespin. I wish I could
_clip on again sometimes. I didn’t
_know what to do. I still have your
_clothespin. I wish I could clip on
_again sometimes...“

EM NEWS
– Fished Up Some Snipes, Boys
– The Queen’s English
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is a snitch
– Hesseman, Young, Rogan
– Analog Head-Trip
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The EMR February Quiz
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #576

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“It started with the Power Ranger
_movie we did. We all knew how
_to fight and became the Ninja
_Kidz. From Boys VS Girls to Super
_Ninja Birthday Bash to super
_hero parodies, we always had a
_blast. We’re traveling around
_the world, Mexico to Africa
_we’re battling all our foes. It’s
_our duty as a Ninja. Fruit Ninja.
_Cute Ninja. Never be a rude
_Ninja. We’re challenging our
_best. Bet ya didn’t know, did
_ya? We’re not done, we’re not
_giving up. Thank you all for
_sharing the love. Fight, win.
_You just gotta believe it. Try to
_do it like the Ninja Kidz...“

EM NEWS
– Who Has Been Pooping In This Tree Hole?
– Things To Not Purchase At A Store
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso – goes undercover
– Mandel, Leno, Fox
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Analog Head-Trip
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The Big EMR Genius Quiz For Geniuses
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #575

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“I’m a master of disguise. Mystery
_in your eyes. Traveling the back-
_roads of your country. Well, you
_think you’ve got my number, and
_then again, you wonder – will you
_ever get to find the real me?
_Things are not always as they first
_may seem, it’s like living in a
_dream. So, you’d like me to re-
_veal all that I know and feel. At
_the risk of causing panic and
_destruction. Well, there’s a
_method in this madness. I don’t
_mean to cause you sadness. My
_course is strictly governed by
_instruction. I’m a master of dis-
_guise, not about to compromise.“

EM NEWS
– I Believe Whatever Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stranger
– Unskilled Man Finds Hidden Talents
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso – wait…even the moon is fake?
– Jameson, Bardem, Wahlberg
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Analog Head-Trip
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The Big EMR Moon Pies & RC Cola Quiz
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #574

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Scarlett, girl of glamour. Scarlett
_never cries. She shakes her
_head and sighs at all life’s little
_mysteries, and where she fits in
_all of these. Her friends all ask
_her why she lets the days go by.
_They say that Scarlett should be
_sinking, but they don’t know just
_what she’s thinking. She’s got no
_money, but come tomorrow,
_what she ain’t got, you know
_she’ll borrow. Life’s a game and
_games are for playing, so listen
_now to what she’s saying. This
_is Scarlett speaking, this is my
_ambition. I wanna have fun
_while I’m still young. So you’d
_better listen. Captain Scarlett
_speaking..“

EM NEWS
– This Guy Tried To Pull A “Fugitive”
– A Cheesy Argument Settled
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso – six gunning its way into your heart
– Poitier, Saget, Watts
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– We talk with The Colonel (from SoCal)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #573

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“A vulture, Titanic, rubber bullet
_panic. Forced revolution, put a
_bullet in me. In my head, burn-
_ing lead. Societal damage,
_descend into madness. Bay of
_Pigs. Force fed. Gone rotten. Cir-
_hossis. Double-barrel justice.
_Blueprint for destruction. A dead
_man’s bed. Full of blind oppression
_reality. Chalk body outline – the
_sentence for your crime. Gone
_insane. Blowtorch. Militant social.
_Intangible. Killer instinct. Inbred.“

EM NEWS
– These Words Are Dead To Us. ‘Nuff Said
– Shocking Words Echoed By Household Friend
– And much more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso – kicking off the year with a double feature
– Grohl, White, Evans
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The Big EMR January Quiz
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #572 – Year End Wrap

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“My name is Francis Tolliver, I
_come from Liverpool. Two years
_ago, the war was waiting for me
_after school. From Belgium and
_Flanders, to Germany, to here.
_I fought for King and country that
_I love dear. ‘Twas Christmas in the
_trenches, where the frost so
_bitter hung. The frozen fields of
_France were still, no Christmas
_song was sung. We traded choco-
_lates, cigarettes and photographs
_from home. These sons and
_fathers far away from families of
_their own. ‘Twas Christmas in the
_trenches…“

EM NEWS
– This segment returns next week/next year

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso – The Year In Review…In Review
– The Ticker Flashback
– EM Birthdays

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– Plenty of New Year’s Tidbits
– A free-form show with lots of random chatter
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #571 – Big Christmas Show

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SPECIAL GUEST: COUSIN TODD
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Back home, they’re waiting on
_snow. Hitch a sleigh, slip away,
_holiday, in a way. We all wish we
_could be there to sled down into
_town. Snowy night, meadow
_bright, candlelight, what a sight.
_Oh…what I’d give to be there.
_‘Cause carolin’ we’ll go, make it up,
_what you don’t know. It’s a bit
_surpisin’, but our harmonizin’
_always sounds good in the snow.
_Ho, ho, ho…“

EM NEWS
– When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be Like Santa
– Nutty Holiday Vandals
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is taking the night off (literally)
– Starr, Michaels, Ludacris
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Tough Christmas Trivia (from Tabitha)
– Our annual Gay German visit
– Plenty of Odd Christmas Tidbits
– The EMR Carolers sing for you
– Tons of Christmas bits and excitement
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #570

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Hey Santa Claus, you cunt, where’s
_me fucking bike? I’ve unwrapped
_all this other junk and there’s
_nothing that I like. I wrote you a
_fucking letter and I come to see
_you twice. You worn out, geri-
_atric, fart, you forgot me fucking
_bike. If I wanted a pair of bloody
_thongs, I’d have bloody asked. And
_this cowboy suit and ping pong set
_you can shove right up your arse.
_You’ve stuffed me bloody order
_up, it’s enough to make you spew.
_And I’m not the only one who’s
_snakey, me sister’s dirty too…“

EM NEWS
– Moving Pictures
– Dildos. Ice Cold Dildos. Get Your Ice Cold Dildos Here
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is dancing in the streets
– Cameron, Boseman, Carpenter
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– An assortment of The Initials Game fun
– Techin’ It Up The Ass
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #569

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“She sent my Pops right in to town
_to pick a Douglas Fir. He bellied
_up to the bar instead and said to
_the man, “Yes, Sir!” Old Pops, he
_liked his eggnog strong; he drank
_until he heaved. Crashed his car
_into a wrong-way sign, but boy
_was he relieved. ‘Cuz there in a
_ditch, he saw lots of kitch, thrown
_out carelessly wasn’t any old tree.
_It was a pink, aluminum Christ-
_mas tree. She said, “Oh, oh, the
_humanity.” That pink, aluminum
_Christmas tree is giving me the
_blues. She said “The pink, alum-
_-inum Christmas tree, is just about
_as hideous as it can be…“

EM NEWS
– Cheating To Get Over The Hump
– Now That’s A Fucking High
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso doesn’t much care for the size of its boat
– Edge, Ezrin, Lifeson
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– An assortment of The Initials Game fun
– Techin’ It Up The Ass
– Plenty of Odd US Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #568

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“I’m watching Christmas on TV,
_and wishing you were here with
_me. Merry Christmas from one
_million miles away. Jimmy
_Stewart. he’s with his friends.
_The bells are ringing. It’s near
_the end. Merry Christmas from
_one millions miles away. Oh, the
_lights across the street. They
_look so warm, they look so sweet.
_Like the love you gave to me
_just yesterday. But you’re really
_not that far — in our old house,
_with his new car. So, Merry
_Christmas from one million miles
_away. Merry Christmas, baby.“

EM NEWS
– Up On The House Top, Reindeer Paws…
– Better Late Than Never
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso gets caught in the shit
– Scott, Kardashian, Richards
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– The EMR Ninja Day Ninja Quiz
– Techin’ It Up The Ass (Tech Turkeys)
– Plenty of Odd US Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #567

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“I want to sit at the kid’s table
_again, to eat turkey and
_dressing, pumpkin pie with real
_whipped cream, mashed pot-
_atoes and gravy and turn my
_nose up at cranberries. Moving
_up was momentous or seemed
_so at the time. I’d watched
_when sisters & cousins no longer
_talked about toys, helped in the
_kitchen and made less noise…“

EM NEWS
– Warum Bin Ech Gefahrn
– Aloha! Please Come With Us, Sir
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso doubles back again
– Beeks, Spacey, Cash
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– The Great Big EMR Top-Selling Xmas Toys Quiz
– Plenty of Odd Black Friday Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #566

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“At the bottom of my bowl, I
_saw what looked like a smile.
_So, I quickly grabbed two
_more Cheerios and made a
_happy face. Because I’m
_neither too old nor too
_responsible to stop playing
_with my food.“

EM NEWS
– One of The Crawling Wonders of The World
– Beefy Villain Slides Into Freedom
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso breaks some glass
– Clooney, Rudd, Crosby
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– 20 Questions
– Tabitha has a Fuck Off! rant
– The Great Big EMR Hot Dog Quiz
– Plenty of Odd US Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #565

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Santa stole Thanksgiving for
_Christmas. Dragged Plymouth
_Rock to the North Pole with
_his sled. Pilgrims never saw
_him coming, The Wampanoags,
_they kept drumming. That
_Thursday in November, gob-
_gobble about December.
_Santa stole Thanksgiving for
_Christmas. It was such a
_happy holiday. No more laid
_back relaxation. It’s Black
_Friday degradation…“

EM NEWS
– No Elf. Denied!
– Space Shitters
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso has some time to kill
– Miller, Dong-Hyuk, Wood
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Plenty of Odd US Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #564

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY

“Pilgrim how you journey on
_the rode you chose. To find
_out why the winds die and
_where the stories go. All
_days come from one day,
_that much you must know.
_You cannot change what’s
_over, but only where you
_go. Will you find the answer
_in all you say and do?“

EM NEWS
– RoboMunchies
– You Can’t Change A Bridge That Don’t Wanna Change
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso kicks some ass…for some reason
– Newman, Horton, Wray
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Plenty of Odd US Tidbits
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #563 – The Halloween Show

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“By horse, by rail, by land, by
_sea, our journey starts. Two
_men incensed by one man’s
_journey from the past. In
_Iceland where the mount-
_ain stood with pride, they
_set off with their guide to
_reach the mountainside.
_Roped as one for safety
_through the long descent,
_into the crater of volcanic
_rock they went. Look up
_from our telescopic lens. One
_atar for us to share, we con-
_tinue on our prayer.“

EM NEWS
– Wacky Warlock Won’t Stop
– Salty Souls
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is out of its mind
– Brinkley, Allman, Duran
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– The Colonel has a Fuck Off! rant
– Jerry’s Halloween Quiz
– Plenty of Odd Halloween Tidbits
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– Tommy & Paulie’s Vacation Picture Cavalcade (view all pics in order on our FB pages)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #562 – Live From Hollywood

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL REGULAR: THE COLONEL
YOUR SCRIPT SUPERVISOR: ARTHUR

“Now, if there’s a smile on my
_face, it’s only there trying
_to fool the public. But when
_it comes down to fooling you,
_now, honey, that’s quite a
_different subject. But don’t
_let my glad expression give
_you the wrong impression.
_Really I’m sad. Oh, I’m sadder
_than sad. You’re gone and I’m
_hurting so bad. Like a clown,
_I appear to be glad. Sad, sad,
_sad, sad. Now, there are some
_sad things known to man. But
_ain’t too much sadder than the
_tears of a clown when there’s
_no one around.“

EM NEWS
– None this week

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso takes a shower
– Edison, Floyd, Dornacker
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– We talk to The Colonel Live in studio
– We chat with friend and script supervisor Arthur
– The Great Big EMR Screenwriter’s Quiz
– Plenty of Odd LA Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #561 – Live From Hollywood

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL REGULAR: THE COLONEL=

“Wish I had known ya when
_you were a little younger.
_‘Round me, you might have
_learned a thing or two. If I
_had known you longer, you
_might be a little stronger.
_Maybe you’d shoot straighter
_than you do. Maybe you’d
_shoot straighter than you do.“

EM NEWS
– Welcome To The Shit Lab — We’ve Got Fun & Games
– Nice Offer, Man
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso sadly vanished in error
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel LIVE in studio
– The Great EMR Los Angeles History Quiz
– Plenty of Odd LA Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #560

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“And if it’s bad, don’t let it get
_you down, you can take it.
_And if it hurts, don’t let them
_see you cry, you can make it.
_Hold your head up, woman.
_Hold your head up, woman.
_Hold your head up, woman.
_Hold your head high. And if
_they stare, just let them burn
_their eyes on your moving.
_And if they shout, don’t let it
_change a thing that you’re
_doing. Hold your head up,
_woman. Hold your head up,
_woman. Hold your head high.“

EM NEWS
– Spooky Search Party Surprise
– Squirrels Are Nuts
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso knows the importance of fame
– Curtis, Biel, Chevron
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Ridiculous Fake Album Covers
– Plenty of Odd US Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #559

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN:THE COLONEL
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY

“You want to laugh, but you can’t
_forget about the ones who sleep
_underneath. You want to cry,
_but you can’t get started now —
_you want to sleep underneath.
_Did I do something wrong? Did
_we? You moved away and holed
_up underground, buried in the
_snow with the sheep. Can you
_out and play or talk with me? Or
_walk or sit or breathe? Did I do
_something wrong? I’m sorry I
_didn’t spell it out…“

EM NEWS
– People Just Seem To Be Going Ape For Oral
– The Italian Job Was Exhausting
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso goes deep
– Larroquette, Rauch, Kelly
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Two rounds of one on one The Initials Game
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– Plenty of Odd US Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #558

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: 6/8 NATE

“You could be my Silver Spring,
_blue-green colors flashin’. I
_would be your only dream – your
_shiny autumn ocean crashin’.
_Don’t say that she’s pretty. And
_did you say that she loves you?
_Baby, I don’t want to know. So,
_I’ll begin not to love you. Turn
_around, you’ll see me runnin’.
_I’ll say I loved you years ago and
_tell myself you never loved me.
_No. Don’t say that she’s pretty.
_And did you say that she loves you?“

EM NEWS
– This House Is For Fat Wallets, Not Fat Fucks
– The Pizza Roll Pooper
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso, I’m CEO, bitch!
– Craig, Collins, Hanks
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– More Cognitive Biases
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– Plenty of Odd US Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!>

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #557

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“Ain’t found a way to kill me yet.
_My eyes burn with stinging
_sweat. Seems every path leads
_me to nowhere. Wife and kids,
_household pet. Seems army
_green was no safe bet. The
_bullets scream to me from some-
_where. Here, they come to snuff
_the rooster, ah yeah. Yeah, here
_come the rooster. You know he
_ain’t gonna die…“

EM NEWS
– Cow Pee Pee
– Don’t Worry Jesus Has The Painting
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso RULEZ!!
– MacDonald, Christie, Mack
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Demotivational Posters (pics on our FB pages)
– The Super Summer Saucin’ Smackdown – The Finale
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– Plenty of Odd US Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!>

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #556

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: 6/8 NATE

“I remember it as plain as day,
_although it happened in the
_dark of the night. I was strolling
_through the streets of Paris and
_it was cold; it was starting to rain.
_And then I heard a piercing
_scream and I rushed to the scene
_of the crime. But all I found was
_the butchered remains of two
_girls lay side by side. Murders in
_the rue morgue, someone call the
_gendarmes. Murders in the rue
_morgue, vite before the killers go
_free. Murders in the rue morgue.
_Murders in the rue morgue“

EM NEWS
– The Root of Heron Is Hero
– Put Your Banana In The Hole
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is coming for you
– Williams, Malone, Sanchez
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– The EMR 60s Action Figures Quiz
– The Super Summer Saucin’ Smackdown – Semi-Finals Week 2
– Analog Head-Trip
– Plenty of Odd US Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!>

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #555

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BEN

“After working all day, I head to
_the bar. My friends are all there,
_and oh how witty they are. We
_talk of the events of the day,
_until we invariably say — “How
_dare you treat us this way!” This
_is the worst beer that I’ve ever
_had. The worst beer that I’ve
_ever had. It’s so abominably bad,
_it would make a gay man sad. It’s
_the worst beer that I’ve ever had.
_The worst beer that I’ve ever had.
_By the holy dad, are you congen-
_itally mad? This is the worst beer
_that I’ve ever had…“

EM NEWS
– Childhood Dreams Dashed During Tasteless Interview
– Holy Cheeseballs & Beefcakes, You Can’t Make This Shit Up!
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is semi-automatic
– Leno, Campbell, Starr
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Fucked Up Books We Wish Were Real (pics on our FB pages)
– The Super Summer Saucin’ Smackdown – Week 11
– Plenty of Odd US Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!>

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #554

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“You can’t touch this. You can’t
_touch this. My, my, my…you
_can’t touch this. Music hits me
_so hard, makes me say ‘oh my
_lord!’ Thank you for blessing me
_with a mind to rhyme and two
_hyped feet. It feels good when
_you know you’re down. A super
_dope homeboy from the Oak-
_town. And I’m known as such,
_and this is a beat, uh, you can’t
_touch. I told you homeboy, you
_can’t touch this…“

EM NEWS
– The Thrill of A Lifetime
– The Best Intentions, The Worst Outcomes
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is all about comparison
– Gorman, Everly, Watts
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– The Stupid Tough EMR TV Show Quiz
– Analog Head-Trip
– Plenty of US Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!>

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #553

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL

“Hangman, hangman, hold it a
_little while. Think I see my
_friends coming, riding a many
_mile. Friends did you get some
_silver? Did you get a little gold?
_What did you bring me, my dear
_friends, to keep me from the
_gallow’s pole? What did you bring
_me to keep me from the gallow’s
_pole?“

EM NEWS
– Some of These Fucking Americans
– The World’s Most Illegible Hold-Up Man
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is all by the numbers
– Craig, Ramsay, Streisand
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Plenty of US Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!>

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #552

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: 6/8 NATE

“I know a weenie man, he owns
_a weenie stand. He sells almost
_everything from a hot dog to
_buns, buns, buns. Someday I’ll
_join his life, I’ll be his weenie
_wife. Hot dog! I love that wee-
_nie man! Weenie, weenie, wee-
_nie on a bun, bun, bun. Pass the
_mustard and the relish too. Wee-
_nie, weenie, weenie on a bun,
_bun, bun. Pass the mustard and
_the ketchup too. Weenie, wee-
_nie, weenie on a bun, bun,
_bun...“

EM NEWS
– Open Wide
– Airborne Antics
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is creepy as fuck
– Margera, Couffer, O’Brien
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– More of the fantastic Initials Game
– The Super Summer Saucin’ Smackdown – Week Nine
– Analog Head-Trip
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Plenty of US Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!>

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #551

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“It’s just a habit when I reach to
_the packet for my last cigar-
_ette until the day breaks. Then
_my hand shakes. But, but, but,
_but, but, but…It’s just driving
_me insane. When the smoke
_gets in my brain, I can’t resist
_it. Wallow in that ash bath,
_soaking up the fumes. And see
_the nicotine stain start to spread.
_Start to spread...“

EM NEWS
– Owl’s Fair In Love & War
– I Almost Did Die
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is feeling punchy
– Bennett, Gaga, Nasatir
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– EMR Presents 2021 New Minnesota State Fair Foods
– The Super Summer Saucin’ Smackdown – Week Eight
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Plenty of US Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!>

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #550

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“Get out on the highway, headin’
_down a mile away. Passin’ every-
_thing in sight, I push it to the
_max. Gettin’ ready to relax.
_‘Cause it’s gonna be a Saturday
_night. I know a place just over
_the hill — if you want to have a
_good time, you will. Way down
_south, just across the border.
_Way down south, don’t need no
_law and order. Way down south...“

EM NEWS
– Bin There, Done That
– There’s Monsters Under My Bed
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso loses its soul
– Aiello, Davidson, Damon
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– The EMR Whistleblower’s Quiz
– The Super Summer Saucin’ Smackdown – Week Seven
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Analog Head-Trip (National Record Store Day Edition)
– Plenty of US Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!>

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #549

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“There’s a neighborhood called
_Blackhawk where all the rich
_people hide. I was down on my
_luck, working for the Salvation
_Army, the shelter is where I
_reside. Every day we drive into
_Blackhawk and we pick up the
_offerings. Microwave, refrigerator
_for the suffering. Come on baby,
_won’t you show me what you’ve
_got? I want your Salvation...“

EM NEWS
– Reading All of The Words Is Hard Sometimes
– Cheesy Inventions
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is a star
– Geffen, Johnson, Longworth
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– The EMR Guinness Records Quiz
– The Super Summer Saucin’ Smackdown – Week Six
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Plenty of US Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!>

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #548

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL CALL-IN: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“The roof is on fire. She wet like
_Barbara Streisand. Police every-
_where. It’s like a nigga killed a
_white man. I just wanna find a
_baby mamma ‘fore the night
_end. Them stars falling, don’t
_chase ’em. The sky’s falling,
_baby. Drop that ass ‘fore it
_crash. The sky’s falling, baby…“

EM NEWS
– Cannuck Go Home
– Snap, Popple & Crack
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso swears he heard something
– Smoove, Trejo, Robinson
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– The Super Summer Summer Quiz
– The Super Summer Saucin’ Smackdown – Week Five
– We talk to The Colonel (from his current SoCal locale)
– Plenty of US Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!>

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #547

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR AQUATIC FRIEND: CLAMBOY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI
YOUR SPECIAL GUEST: THE COLONEL

“Here come the mine cars and
_it’s damn near dawn. Another
_shift of men, some of them my
_friends, comin’ on. Hard to
_imagine workin’ in the mines.
_Coal dust in your lungs, on your
_skin and on your mind. I’ve lis-
_tened to the speeches, but it
_occurred to me that politicians
_don’t understand. The thoughts
_of isolation — ain’t no sunshine
_underground. It’s like workin’ in
_a graveyard three miles down…“

EM NEWS
– Shitty New Inventions
– Gotta Get That Fast Food
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso stick-em-up
– Millard, Cuoco, Gainsborough
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– The Initials Game
– The Super Summer Saucin’ Smackdown – Week Four
– We chit-chat with The Colonel (live in studio)
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– Stupid Shit The Colonel Did When He Was Just A Kid
– Plenty of US Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #546

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“Well I left Kentucky back in ’49
_an’ went to Detroit workin’ on
_a ‘ssembly line. The first year
_they had me puttin’ wheels on
_Cadillacs. Every day I’d watch
_them beauties roll by and some-
_times I’d hang my head and cry
_’cause I always wanted me one
_that was long and black…“

EM NEWS
– Digging Deeper & Deeper & Deeper Into Stupidity
– Sucky Artist
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso peruses its bounty
– Lithgow, Schreiber, Tarantino
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– The EMR Super Duper 4th of July and/or Fireworks Quiz
– The Super Summer Saucin’ Smackdown – Week Three
– Plenty of US Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #545

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“When everything goes wrong;
_when life goes wrong, try for a
_little French song. French
_songs are maybe old-fashioned,
_but so sweet to hum. French
_songs are tender, endlessly no-
_stalgic. And when we no longer
_know where to belong, try for a
_little French song. French songs
_will take you to Paris or Pigalle
_or Llle Saint-Louis. French songs
_are dancing in the rain from
_Bastille to Tulleries. Because we
_have something to show off…“

EM NEWS
– All Aboard!
– Stumbling Upon An Angel
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso takes a risk
– Spielberg, Grohl, Herriman
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– The Initials Game returns
– PsychoGrams
– The Super Summer Saucin’ Smackdown – Week Two
– Plenty of US Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #544

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI
YOUR SPECIAL GUEST: CLAMBOY

“I’ve got your picture, of me and
_you. You wrote “I love you.” I
_wrote “me too.” I sit there staring
_and there’s nothing else to do.
_Oh, it’s in color – your hair is
_brown. Your eyes are hazel and
_soft as clouds. I often kiss you
_when there’s no one else around.
_I’ve got your picture. I’ve got your
_picture. I’d like a million of you
_all ’round my cell. I want the
_doctor to take your picture, so I
_can look at you from inside as
_well. You’ve got me turning up
_and turning down. I’m turning in
_and turning ’round. I think I’m
_turning Japanese…“

EM NEWS
– Look Out! Here Comes The Spider-Fam
– Poking Sleeping Bears
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso w/ a Clam assist
– Cornell, King, McKellen
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– The Colonel (on the line from SoCal)
– The EMR Benchmark (we didn’t say Criterion) Quiz
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– We start The Super Summer Saucin’ Smackdown
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio (EMR) #543

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: 6/8 NATE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“Took a flight out of Japan and I
_met a Russian model. One week
_straight, we popping bottles…
_passing out in hotel lobbies.
_She told me she likes to dance, I
_said “We should go to France.”
_Said “I’m sure we’ll meet again.
_Hit me when you land in London.
_We don’t need to see the city,
_seen that all before. Maids best
_not disturb, put the sign outside
_the door. We just topped a bottle,
_I can see that you want more.
_Texts from my ex, yeah, it’s a
_quarter past four…“

EM NEWS
– Canine Uber
– Antique Meth Show
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is unraveling
– Williams, Strummer, Cook
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We did NOT speak to The Colonel tonight
– Back Rockwards!
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #542

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“…she was tall, thin and tarty, and
_she drove a Maserati. Faster than
_sound, I was heaven bound.
_Although I must have looked a
_creep in my army surplus jeep.
_Was I being too bold? Before the
_night could get old…no, no, no,
_no, no. She proved me so wrong.
_Oh…the Italian girls sometimes
_hold their religious habits in front
_of your eyes, just to get you tied…“

EM NEWS
– I Like The Color of Your Mouth
– An Act of Musical Kindness
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso movie of mystery
– Dylan, Spacey, Biden
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– More Shower Thoughts
– Jerry’s Happy Note – McDonald’s Autism
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #541

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: 6/8 NATE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“Someone that you half imagine
_comes alive in a smoky room.
_Hungry eyes, alibis, are trained on
_you. Hieroglyphics on the ceiling
_hint at secret sins. Rumors slipping
_out the doorway, revealing passions
_deep within. Someone wants to
_take you to The Alibi Room. Some-
_one wants to take you to The Alibi
_Room. Someone wants to break
_you in The Alibi Room. Hungry
_eyes and alibis are waiting in The
_Alibi Room. Hungry eyes and alibis
_are waiting in The Alibi Room.“

EM NEWS
– The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!
– Pool Party Crashers
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso presents a triple feature
– Reedus, Mustaine, Trebek
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– It’s Back! The Initial Game
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #540

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“Aloha! And welcome to the natural
_beauty, wonder & adventure of our
_islands. Every day the gentle rain
_paints our landscapes with lush
_vegetation and a colorful variety of
_exotic flowers. Their alluring beauty
_and intoxicating fragrance fill our
_island paradise with enchantment.
_No less enchanting are the many
_varieties of brilliantly colored
_tropical birds that entertain with
_delightful song. This incredible
_bounty of natural beauty was born
_of the blending of rich volcanic soil
_with the warm tropical climate.
_Among our tasty treasures are flavor-
_ful fruits, such as: bananas, mangos,
_papayas, and of course – the pine-
_apple.“

EM NEWS
– Zombie Brains From Down Under
– Archaeologists Discover Their Hard On
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is pressing charges
– Van Dyke, Stone, Grodin
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The Great EMR TV Spinoff Game
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #539

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“Most people live on a lonely island,
_lost in the middle of a foggy sea.
_Most people long for another
_island, one where they know they
_would like to be. Bali Hai may
_call you. Any night, any day. In
_your heart you’ll hear it call
_you — come away, come away.
_Bali Hai will whisper on the wind
_of the sea — here am I, your
_special island. Come to me, come
_to me. Your own special hopes,
_your own special dreams loom on
_the hillside and shine in the streams.
_If you try, you will find me where
_the sky meets the sea. Here am I,
_your special island. Come to me.
_Come to me.“

EM NEWS
– Easy As Pasta
– That’s A Bit Rough
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso gets shaken down
– Norton, Lloyd, DiCaprio
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– Too Close For Comfort – The EMR Photo Game (images on our FB pages)
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #538

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“I would like to see Samoa of Samoa
_where the hoopu, the nooku and
_maybe the upu waha too. I would
_like to write a song about Samoa
_with aloha to rhyme it and picture
_it, the climate drifting by. In all
_my dreams, I see a vision of the
_moonlit tropical shore and a
_maiden Polynesian. You can
_wick that wack by her little grass
_shack. with her hair so black
_hanging down her back. I would
_like to see Samoa of Samoa, and
_I would go there tomorrow if only
_I knew just where it was. In all
_my dreams, I see a vision of the
_moonlit tropical shore…“

EM NEWS
– Ditzy Early Retirement Plan
– There Was An Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe…
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso gets down & dirty
– Springsteen, O’Brien, Koons
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The Initials Game is back
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #537

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR BEN’S CORNER: BENI

“She’s movin’ like more than the airs
_is glistenin’. Testin’ your ate in the
_delirium. Sounding fate, booming
_all over your eminence. Skin on
_skin again. Put it all, get it all, get
_in then. Ladies and gentlemen,
_misters and mistresses or entrants
_and simil men. There it is —
_boogieman…“

EM NEWS
– Would The Real Josh Swain Please Stand Up?
– Skinny-Dipping In The Sky
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso takes a snapshot
– DiCaprio, Schmitt, Grohl
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– Film Gimmicks
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– Paulie has a Fuck Off! rant
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #536

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL

“If you go away on this summer day,
_then you might as well take the sun
_away. All the birds that flew in a
_summer sky when our love was new
_and our hearts were high. When the
_day was young and the night was
_long and the moon stood still for the
_night bird’s song. If you go away. If
_you go away. If you go away. But if
_you stay, I’ll make you a day like no
_day has been or will be again. We’ll
_sail on the sun. We’ll ride on the
_rain. We’ll talk to the trees and
_worship the wind. Then if you go,
_I’ll understand. Leave me just
_enough love to fill up my hand. If
_you go away. If you go away. If you
_go away. But if you go, I won’t
_cry for the good’s gone from good-
_bye. If you go away…“

EM NEWS
– The Beast Among The Lilacs
– A Tunnel of Unknown Origin
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is very contemporary
– Steinman, Becket, Elam
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA…for the WHOLE show
– The Minnesota Quiz
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #535

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: MARTHA
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL

“Make you thought, eat ham hocks,
_tuna out the garbage. Blind your
_range with tones, your radio sounds
_strange. Eat out your rear bag,
_snatch ribs out your wild coyote.
_Tell Bob to pay me, the company
_boss still owe me. But capitol
_built walls, built fences. I come for
_my check, don’t lower your defenses.
_Get off my elevator!“

EM NEWS
– Astro Beef
– Accepted…Accepted…AND Accepted!
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso sees double
– Colbert, Johnson, Aaker
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– The EMR Mixed Bag Trivia Thing
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #534

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL

“I didn’t know what time it was
_until the sun went down. Detroit
_Michigan, on the bus downtown.
_Last night I was fighting on the
_street. But tonight I have a girl
_next to me. In this cold world,
_she brings me heat. I’ve got a
_good feeling about a bad city
_tonight. I’ve got a good feeling
_everything’s gonna be alright…“

EM NEWS
– Walking On Fire & Water
– Spa Day Gone Wrong
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso takes flight
– Grohl, Ritter, Rodgers
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– The Initials Game
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #533

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL

“With your feet on the air and
_your head on the ground, try
_this trick and spin it, yeah.
_Your head will collapse, but
_there’s nothing in it. And you’ll
_ask yourself, where is my mind?
_Where is my mind? Way out in
_the water. See it swimming.“

EM NEWS
– Untraditional Final Paycheck
– Nobody Move
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso takes someone’s place
– Burt, Martin, Spector
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The Initials Game
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #532

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: MARTHA
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL

“I was one of those hicks who
_came here from the sticks.
_Trying to find that kind of fame
_that Broadway stands for. I was
_one of those fools who dreamed
_of riches and jewels. Now, I am
_awake. Find my mistake. I’ll
_get a break. Broadway’s a fake.
_I work in a speak that’s dim and
_dingy. Where standers are pre-
_tenders, cheap and stingy. All
_I smell is rotten Scotch & Ginger.
_Cigarettes…cigars!“

EM NEWS
– Cinnamon Shrimp Crunch!
– Arizona Scientists Are Lunary Toons
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso takes a journey
– Thurston, Segal, Peters
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The Initials Game
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #531

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL

“Yeah, she was so pretty she
_made Charlize Theron look like
_a big fat pig. The only caveat is
_one of her earlobes is just a tiny
_bit too big. I said, hey, are we
_doin’ government work here? No,
_I don’t think we are. You’re close,
_so very, very close. Aww, baby,
_you’re close, so close, but no
_cigar. Really, really, really close,
_but no cigar.”

EM NEWS
– School Bus Mystery Solved
– Mirror In The Bathroom
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso searches for clone
– Lee, Meirelles, Brown
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– Board Game Investigations: The Quiz
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #530

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“The man with the cigar walked
_on up to where I was workin’
_this mornin’. The man with the
_cigar said I was workin’ too slow,
_and if I didn’t speed it up, he’d
_have to let me go. I’m workin’
_like a dog, so why’s he always
_hangin’ around me to hound me.
_He’s pushing me too far and
_pretty soon my back is gonna
_break.”

EM NEWS
– Massive Tit Fight Breaks Out
– New Wave Camping
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso may never get home
– Pina, Leone, Mason
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Seuss
_Quiz
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #529

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“A small cigar can change the
_world. I know I’ve done it
_frequently at parties, where
_I’ve won all the guests atten-
_tion, with my generosity and
_suave gentlemanly bearing. A
_little flat tin case is all you
_need. Breast pocket conver-
_sation opener. And one of those
_ciggie lighters that look rather
_good. You can throw away when
_empty. Must be declared a
_great success.”

EM NEWS
– Waxy Dining Patrons
– We’ve Got The Funk
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is stuck in the bowl
– Seuss, Jolie, Parnther
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– EMRs Fake Pulp & Romance Novel Covers (seen on our FB page(s))
– Plenty of Puns o’ The Night
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #528

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“When I grow up, I want to be
_one of the harvesters of the
_sea. I think before my days are
_done, I want to be a fisherman.
_Four hours up oh the ocean
_swelled and swelled. The fog
_rolled in. It started raining. The
_starboard bow. Oh my God,
_we’re going down! They do not
_hear his frantic mayday. I want
_to be a fisherman. I’ll live and
_die a fisherman. Calling John
_the fisherman.”

EM NEWS
– Don’t Do This At Home, Kids
– The One That Got Away-ay-ay-ay
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is all “tied” up
– Bond, Groening, Chaplin
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– Ahoy! It’s The EMR Yacht Rock Super Quiz
– Plenty of Puns o’ The Night
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #527

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS GUEST: MARTHA
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“Johnny Grotto was a fisherman’s
_son. Johnny Grotto was a fisher-
_man’s son. When he set out to
_sea, he had one thing in mind.
_He wanted to see how much fish
_he could find. It was late in the
_evening when fish start to bite.
_Just before dark, when fish start
_to bite. When the fishing was
_good, he was feeling alright. Said
_the fishing was good; he was
_feeling alright. And the night was
_so bright that a star was in sight.
_Said the night was so bright that
_a star was in sight. He catch so
_much fish that he stayed out all
_night…”

EM NEWS
– With This Ring I Do Wed…Someone Else
– Artificial Life On The Highway
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is struggling
– Sandler, Pennock, Hasel
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The EMR TV Theme Song Game
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– Plenty of Puns o’ The Night
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #526

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“Got a whale of a tale to tell you,
_lads. A whale of a tale or two. ‘Bout
_the flappin’ fish and the girls I’ve
_loved. On nights like this, with the
_moon above, a whale of a tale and
_it’s all true, I swear by my tattoo.
_There was Mermaid Minnie, met
_her down in Madagascar. She would
_kiss me any time that I would ask
_her. Then one evening, her flame
_of love blew out. Blow me down
_and pick me up. She swapped me
_for a trout. Got a whale of a tale
_to tell you, lads…“

EM NEWS
– An Experiment Gone Wrong
– Getting Natural In Nature
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso was not man one or man two…
– Kassell, Wilson, Richards
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The EMR Mixed Up As Fuck Quiz
– A special Techin’ It Up The Ass
– Plenty of Wright’s of The Night
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #525

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“Who will have a fishy on a little dishy?
_Who will have a fishy when the boat
_comes? And then he says “With our
_glasses both raised in a toast, let’s
_sing for those in peril on the sea. Who
_cater ceaselessly to thy every wish
_with every fish as fresh as fish can be.
_You see, I’m into my oysters, my king
_prawns and caviar. No matter how far
_away they are, I’ll be there!” And then
_she says “With our glasses both raised
_in this toast, let’s sing for those in
_peril on the sea. Who labor tirelessly
_in their little boats…“

EM NEWS
– Unconventional Savings Plan
– The Prickly Bandit Gets Pricked
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is defending its honor
– Grammer, Dennings, Holbrook
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– Which of These Doesn’t Belong Quiz: Volume III
– An all new Analog Head-Trip
– Plenty of Puns O’ The Night
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #524

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“On top of spaghetti, all covered with
_cheese, I lost my poor meatball
_when somebody sneezed. It rolled
_off the table. It rolled on the floor.
_And then my poor meatball rolled
_out the door. It rolled in the garden
_and under a bush. And then my
_poor meatball was nothing but mush.
_The mush was as tasty as tasty can be
_and early next summer, it grew into a
_tree.“

EM NEWS
– Oh, Honey, You Shouldn’t Have
– Poopie Cubes
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is protecting its turf
– Vargas, King, Leachman
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– Which of These Doesn’t Belong Quiz: Volume II
– Plenty of Puns O’ The Night
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #523

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“That was delicious clam dip. Eating
_it made us glad. We know they
_were minced, but we’re convinced
_that some of them clams were bad.
_Our stomachs hurt. Our bladders
_are full. We drank too much cham-
_pagne. That was delicious clam dip,
_but some of us got ptomaine. That
_was delicious clam dip…“

EM NEWS
– Snowflakes & Sand Dunes
– I Wish I Was A Little Bit Taller
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is loving, every minute of it
– Gorman, Iger, Holly
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– Which of These Doesn’t Belong Quiz
– Techin’ It Up The Ass covers The CES
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #522

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut.
_Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut.
_Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut.
_Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut.
_Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut.
_Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut.
_Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut.
_Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut.
_Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut.”

NEWS
– Do You Know The Sandwich Man?
– Weiner Lovers Wanted
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is holding on tight
– Mortensen, Summerville, Gordy
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The EMR Forgotten Lands Quiz
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #521

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BENI

“I got jaws like a bear trap. Teeth
_like a razor, got a Maytag tongue
_with a sensitive taste. A born in
_Texas, a land of beef. Never
_cared much for greens. Ya
_oughta’ heard, I like meat. I’m
_the meat man. Woo, oughta see
_me eat meat now. Whoa, I’m the
_meat man, baby. You oughta see
_me eat meat now.“

EM NEWS
– Are You Feeling Tensssssse?
– Up The Creek Without A Paddle…or Clothes
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso gets reactionary
– Brown, Reynolds, Darby
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– Celebrity Rhyme Thyme
– Techin’ It Up The Ass – ’21 Predictions
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #520

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BEN

“I’ve been eatin’ whipped cream,
_havin’ vivid daydreams of your
_face. And through people on TV
_screens, you’ve been every-
_where. And I wish I didn’t care.
_Oh, you’ve been everywhere.
_I wish, wish I didn’t care, yeah.
_Wish I didn’t. I’ve been eatin’
_whipped cream, havin’ vivid
_daydreams…“

EM NEWS
– Squirrel Gone Nuts
– Iron Junk
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso Year End Review & Awards
– Pohler, Wurwand, Krieger
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The Cash In Your Chips Quiz
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #519 – The Big Christmas Show

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your all out assault on stupidity and bullshit. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. This is the BIG EMR ANNUAL CHRISTMAS SHOW! A ton of holiday fun is coming your way tonight, including new stuff & traditional EMR Christmas stuff. Don’t miss it, kids!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BEN
YOUR SPECIAL GUEST: MARTHA

“…how lucky that you dropped
_in. So nice and warm. Look
_out the windows at that storm.
_My sister will be suspicious.
_Gosh, your lips look delicious.
_My brother will be there at the
_door. Waves upon a tropical
_shore. My maiden aunt’s mind
_is vicious. Gosh, your lips are
_delicious. Well, maybe just a
_cigarette more. Never such a
_blizzard before. And I don’t
_even smoke…“

EM NEWS
– A Cheesy Traffic Detour
– Snowy Masterpieces
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is down and out
– Combs, Rockefeller, Austen
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The Colonel plays us Christmas carols on his violin
– The EMR Christmas Rhyme Thyme Game
– Jerry’s 2020 Tech Turkeys
– Tons & tons of new Christmas bits & classic EMR Christmas bits
– Plenty of Xmas Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #518

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your all out assault on stupidity and bullshit. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Regular listener? Awesome. Occasional listener? Cool. Have never listened? What the fuck are you waiting for? Just a week until the huge Christmas show, kids. Enjoy this, #518, and then enjoy that, #519.

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BEN

“I’m having gridlock Christmas,
_with people I don’t even know.
_Though friends and family
_can’t be here, we’ll have good
_old Christmas cheer and
_carols on the car radio. Oh,
_I’m having gridlock Christmas…“

EM NEWS
– The Hoofin’ Horn Gang
– A Little Too Much of The Holiday Spirit
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso takes it for a spin
– Von D, Chapelle, Sellers
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The EMR Christmas Movie Quiz
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #517

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your all out assault on stupidity and bullshit. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Regular listener? Awesome. Occasional listener? Cool. Have never listened? What the fuck are you waiting for? The Christmas season is upon and this is Episode #517. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL

“Oh…I yust go nuts at Christ-
_mas, on that yolly holiday.
_I’ll go in the red like a knuckle-
_head, ’cause I’ll squander all
_my pay. Oh…I yust go nuts at
_Christmas; shopping sheer
_drives me berserk. On the day
_before, I rush in a store like
_the perviveal jerk. I’ll look at
_nightgowns for my wife, those
_black ones trimmed in red. But
_I won’t know her size, so she’ll
_get a carpet sveeper instead.
_Oh…I yust go nuts at Christ-
_mas, when each kids hangs up
_his sock…“

EM NEWS
– The Golden Scorpion
– Exit Through The Gift Shlock
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is horsing around
– Lew, Cosell, Oakley
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The EMR December Quiz
– Jerry’s Happy Note
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #516

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your all out assault on stupidity and bullshit. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Regular listener? Awesome. Occasional listener? Cool. Have never listened? What the fuck are you waiting for? The Christmas season is here, listener. If you are new to the show, you will soon learn how into Christmas we are at EMR. If you’re a regular, you are well aware. Voila — December. Episode #516. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL

“Early Christmas morning,
_sneaky as can be. I creep
_across the carpet and peek
_under the tree. Pick out a
_a gift from Mom to me, bring
_it to my ear. Give it a little
_shimmy-shake and what do I
_hear? Socks. Tube socks! This
_is the worst gift I ever got. It
_doesn’t beep or buzz or bop
_or rattle in the box. Hey,
_why’d you waste the paper on
_a lousy pair of socks. Tip-toe
_to the mantle, a scowl upon
_my brow. I reach up to my
_stocking hanging from a holly
_bough…“

EM NEWS
– Robot From The Future…of Tourism
– American Asshole Does The Right Thing
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso hits the pavement
– Liman, Palminteri, Mulaney
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– A very short & impromptu round of The Sneezing Superstitions Quiz
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #515

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your all out assault on stupidity and bullshit. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Regular listener? Awesome. Occasional listener? Cool. Have never listened? What the fuck are you waiting for? This is our Black Friday episode. That doesn’t mean too much. We just thought we’d let you know. It’s also known as episode #515. Enjoy!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BEN
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“There is history in this place.
_There are dragons to be
_chased. And though I don’t
_know who you are, an easy
_flow and a strong, a strong
_heart. And the charm in the
_way you hide, gently take my
_skull for a ride. And I don’t
_know who you are, but I
_know what I’d like you to be.
_A one night stand under
_stoned persuasion. But a joy
_that I can’t hide. Gently
_take my skull for a ride. We
_can never go too far. The
_pain we can’t escape at
_least will wait…“

EM NEWS
– Unintentional Intoxication
– Bovine Benefits
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso offers up three
– Murray, Jennings, Hook
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The Colonel plays his violin for us
– The EMR Celebrity Rhyme Thyme
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #514

EMR or eMpTy Minds Radio is your all out assault on stupidity and bullshit. Always interesting, informative and funny. Never too political. We are here to make things right. To set the record straight. Regular listener? Awesome. Occasional listener? Cool. Have never listened? What the fuck are you waiting for? It’s episode #514, don’t you think you should get started? Damn it!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BEN
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“It couldn’t be a dam ’cause it
_doesn’t have a beaver. It’s
_not the DMV ’cause it doesn’t
_make you wait. It couldn’t be
_a taco ’cause it isn’t very
_crunchy. It couldn’t be an
_Olsen ’cause it isn’t Mary-
_Kate. It can’t be Dirty Dancing
_’cause it doesn’t make you
_vomit. It couldn’t be an iron
_’cause it doesn’t burn your
_face. It couldn’t be Bruce
_Campbell ’cause it isn’t fuckin’
_awesome. It couldn’t be a
_keyboard ’cause it doesn’t
_have a space…BAR. This is
_not a song. It’s a sandwich.“

EM NEWS
– Salty Holiday
– Home, Home On The Sauce
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso gets predictable
– Carey, Bell, Swedien
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The EMR Celebrity Rhyme Thyme
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #513

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: 6/8 NATE
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BEN
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“Trick or treat. Sweet to eat,
_on Halloween and New Year’s
_Eve. Yankee girls, you just
_can’t be beat. But you’re the
_best when you’re off your
_feet. Girls, girls, girls…At The
_Dollhouse in Fort Lauderdale.
_Girls, girls, girls…rocking in
_Atlanta at Tattletails. Girls,
_girls, girls…raising hell at the
_Seventh Veil. Crazy Horse,
_Paris, France. Forget the
_names, remember romance.
_Got the photos — menage et
_Trois. Must have broke those
_Frenchie’s laws with those…
_Girls, girls, girls…Body Shop
_and Marble Arch. Girls, girls,
_girls...“

EM NEWS
– You’ve Got To Fight…For Your Right…To Party!
– It’s A Bird. It’s A Plane. It’s A Car…
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso gets revolutionary
– Grohl, Cohen, Springsteen
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The EMR Celebrity Rhyme Thyme
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #512 – Our 10th Anniversary

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BEN
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“Nowhere to run and nowhere
_to hide. I can’t kill this bad
_pain inside. What can I do
_when your love is gone? All I
_can do is just live on. No
_escape from your heart. No
_escape from your lips. No
_escape from you, baby; you
_bring the tears. No escape
_from you, darlin’, all the
_night and day. No escape
_from you, baby. What else
_can I say? No escape. No
_escape. No escape. What
_can I do without you? Loss.
_I need your love, whatever
_it will cause...“

EM NEWS
– Icy News From Way In The Past
– Don’t Try This At Home Kids
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso loves a village
– Oliver, Ford, Connery, Springsteen
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– The Initials Game
– Jerry Happy Note
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #511 – The Big Halloween Show

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BEN
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: 6/8 NATE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI

“Fly me to the moon. Let me
_play among the stars. Let me
_see what spring is like on
_Jupiter and Mars. In other
_words, hold my hand. In other
_words, baby, kiss me. Fill my
_heart with song and let me
_sing forever more. You’re all
_I long for. All I worship and
_adore. In other words, please
_be true. In other words, I
_love you. Fly me to the moon.
_Let me play among the stars.“

EM NEWS
– The Mummified Twinkies
– Beatle Tank, Beatle Tank, Beatle Tank
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso goes off the deep end
– The Spin On The Dead Spin
– Cohen, Black, Gass
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– Two Halloween Quizzes (Candy Nostalgia & Horror Films)
– Halloween Limericks
– Analog Head-Trip
– Minnesota Vice (a great seasonal beer)
– Plenty of Halloween Factoids
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #510

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BEN

“They took the whole Cherokee
_Nation . Put us on this reser-
_vation. Took away our ways
_of life — the tomahawk and
_the bow and knife. Took away
_our native tongue and taught
_their English to our young. And
_all the beads we made by hand
_are nowadays made in Japan.
_Cherokee people. Cherokee
_tribe. So proud to live. So
_proud to die.“

EM NEWS
– Lake Life Reels From A Bag of Fucking Eels
– Breath In The Fresh Air of Asbestos
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso delivers
– The Smell of Hopkins…Is Lovely
– Fincher, Cuomo, Holly
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA
– Bizarre Road Signs (pics on our FB page – follow along)
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #509

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BEN
YOUR EM GUEST: JASON – THE POTTER

“What a display, we can’t look
_away from the ones who get
_paid to stand on the stage.
_And the people all watch –
_sit and listen in silence. I see
_them up on the screen. We
_all listen, but they don’t say
_anything. They look so pretty
_and free, but we can all think
_when we are unplugged from
_the machine. I get my own
_thoughts. I don’t need to be
_taught.“

EM NEWS
– Sneaky, Sneaky. Or Rather — Stinky, Stinky
– Do You Know The Pumpkin Man?
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso gets a jump on the future
– Cuties…Still Cute
– Trebek, Sherman-Palladino, Hall
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA (The Colonel returns next week)
– We converse with Special Guest, Jason The Potter
– Even More Knockoff Toys (pics on our FB page)
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #508

Welcome to world of EMR Episode #508.

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BEN

“Into the distance, a ribbon of
_black. Stretched to the point
_of no turning back. A flight of
_fancy on a windswept field.
_Standing alone, my senses
_reeled. A fatal attraction is
_holding me fast. How can I
_escape this irresistible grasp?
_Can’t keep my eyes from the
_circling skies. Tongue-tied and
_twisted, just an earth-bound
_misfit, I.“

EM NEWS
– The Best of Both Worlds…or Not
– What A Cute Little Devil
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso becomes enamored
– Will You Accept The Weasel Into Your Life…Again?
– Van Halen, Armstrong, Prince
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA (The Colonel returns next week)
– Jerry’s 80s Music Quiz
– A Jerry’s Happy Note
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The Super Summer Soda Smackdown (Grand Finale)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #507 (10-02-2020)

How do you feel about cartoons and the art of cartoons? Still or animated? You’d better like that shit and like it quick, because Mr. Mort Lawry ain’t gonna take no lip out of you, you snot-nosed little fuh…what? Excuse me. Oh shit…we’re live. Hi, friends…Mort Lawry here to talk about cartoons. But before we get into that, how about we dive into EMR episode five-zero-seven? Sound good? Great! And if you won’t to dive into that, I have something else for you to dive into…what? Still live? Fuck!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: THE COLONEL
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BEN

“We can dance if we want to. We
_can leave your friends behind.
_Because your friends don’t
_dance, and if they don’t dance.
_Well, they’re no friends of
_mine. We can go where we
_want to, a place where they
_will never find. And we can act
_like we come from out of this
_world; leave the real one far
_behind. And we can dance…
_We can dance, we can dance.
_Everything out of control. We
_dance, we can dance. They’re
_doing it from wall to wall.“

EM NEWS
– Somebody’s In My Bed
– He’s Going The Distance
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso is awakened
– A Great Big Podcast Buyout
– Cohen, Serling, D’Amaro
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with The Colonel from LA (The City of Angels)
– The EMR Theme Park Insanity Quiz
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The Super Summer Soda Smackdown (the finale is next week)
– So much more, your head will spin!

Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download

eMpTy Minds Radio #506 (09-25-2020)

The China Bowl at 4am. That’s right — The China Bowl at 4am. Oh, hey, friends…Mort Lawry here. I was just re-working last week’s theme music to this week theme image. I know it sounds crazy, probably because it is. But hey, you try sitting in a sound booth all evening coming up with new ways to make Egg Foo Young sound exciting. Mort Lawry saying – have a nice fucking weekend. Oh and enjoy eMpTy Minds Radio number five-zero-six!

YOUR HOSTS: TOMMY & PAULIE
YOUR EM MUSIC-MAN: 6/8 NATE
YOUR EM NEWS CHICA: TABI
YOUR SO-CAL UPDATE: COL. NYLEN
YOUR ANALOG KID: JERRY
YOUR EM COMMENTATOR: BEN

“Hatin’ colorless society and
_provin’ it. Watching too much
_TV for a Chinese girl. Living
_in a new country called
_America. Yes, she’s beautiful.
_She’s got her spacious skies.
_But what about the ugly parts
_the conquerors hide. A bowl
_of rice is a bowl of memories.
_Shovin’ it down our hungry
_throats. A cup of tea is a cup
_of tears. Floodin’ down our
_thirsty throats. So, I write a
_song to keep the memories of
_you and me. It shall keep us
_warm at night, eventhough you
_are out of sight.“

EM NEWS
– Hot Blooded. Hot Blooded
– All We Wanted Was Some Peace & Quiet
– And a whole lot more

MENTALTAINMENT
– Cinema PaulieDiso gets the shaft
– WB Ditches So Ko
– Lennon, Clapton, Cruise
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays + tons more

ETCETERA
– An all new Top Ten List
– We speak with Colonel Nylen from LA (The City of Angels)
– The Great American Soda Quiz
– A new Analog Head-Trip
– Plenty of Odd Tidbits
– The Super Summer Soda Smackdown (semi-finals – round two)
– So much more, your head will spin!