The Columbia Broadcasting System presents “Close-Ups,” the first in a series of adventures of an independent motion picture company. The star system has always been a costly one for independent producers, and Max Cohen, a kindly but excitable producer, conceives a brilliant scheme to avoid using high-priced stars. His plan is to hire the best director available, secure the best stories, and create stars out of two good-looking extras. He hires John Herr, famous Hollywood director, his able assistant Eddie, an ace cameraman, Hank, and then chooses from the ranks of extra players a girl named Gwendolyn D’Arcy and a leading man named Mortimer Willoughby. We temporarily interrupt whatever the fuck is going on with The Columbia Broadcasting System to present “EMR,” the three-hundred and seventy third in an ongoing series. Please enjoy responsibly!
YOUR HOSTS: TOM & JERRY
YOUR CINEMATIC TITANIC: PAULIE
“I ain’t got a fever, got a perm-
_anent disease. And it’ll take
_more than a doctor to prescribe
_a remedy. I got lots of money,
_but it isn’t what I need. Gonna
_take more than a shot to get
_this poison out of me. And I got
_all the symptoms, count ’em –
_one, two, three. First you need,
_then you bleed and when you’re
_on your knees – that’s what you
_get for falling in love. You get a
_little, but it’s never enough. That’s
_what you get for falling in love.
_Now, this boy’s addicted, ’cause
_your kiss is the drug, whoa. Your
_love is like bad medicine. Bad
_medicine is what I need.“
EM NEWS
– The Italian Postman May Not Ring At All
– First Time Victim, First Time Caller
– She Asked For It
– I Insure You – Your Money Is In My Hands
– And a whole lot more
MENTALTAINMENT
– Don’t Ignore Wyan Seeqwest!
– Silent Bob Nearly Goes Silent…For Good
– White, Lee, Crowe
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays, What We Watched + tons more
ETCETERA
– Cinema PaulieDiso goes on a quest
– A brand new Analog Head-Trip
– So much more, your head will spin!
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