Ten-fifty-nine. His palms were sweating. His right hand shaking on his holstered pistol. His thumb unsnapped the button. He raised his weapon slowly as he approached the short flight of stairs that led up to the patrol room. He could make out three voices for sure, possibly a fourth. It was Christmas Eve. What the god damn hell was he doing here, again, on Christmas Eve? He walked in small, frightened steps. Four figures became visible in the frosted glass. The door swings open abruptly. His gun trained. Four revelers decked to the nines in festive evening wear. Booze bottles flailing around in their hands. Co-workers. Friends. “We didn’t want you to be here stuck all alone on Christmas, Boyo.” He lowered his weapon. Smiled. Relief. Screaming tires on the pavement out front. Automatic fire. Muzzle flashes. Shattering Glass. EMR episode 363 murmured on, in the background, on the Bakelite radio. Enjoy
YOUR HOSTS: TOM & GARRY
YOUR TECHMASTER 5K: JERRY
YOUR CINEMATIC TITANIC: PAULIE
YOUR SPECIAL GUEST: CLAMBOY
YOUR BONUS GUEST: COUSIN TODD
“We three kings of Orient are
_puffing on a rubber cigar. It was
_loaded. It exploded. <BANG> We
_two kings of Orient are puffing
_on a rubber cigar. It was loaded.
_It exploded. <BANG> I one king
_or Orient are puffing on a rubber
_cigar. It was loaded. It exploded.
_<BANG> Silent night, holy night.
_All is calm, all is bright. Silent
_night, holy night. Shepard’s
_quake, at the site. Silent night,
_holy night. All is calm, all is bright.
_<BANG>.“
EM NEWS
– T.H.C.B.Y.
– Another Idiot Parent Upset Over Nothing
– Suck My Dick, Attorney At Law
– Slap On Wrist For Retard Guard
– And a whole lot more
MENTALTAINMENT
– This Year’s Big Important List
– I Heard You’re Hearing Pitches, Bitches
– Lambesis, Salling, Fox
– The Ticker Flashback
– Birthdays, What We Watched + tons more
ETCETERA
– Cinema PaulieDiso takes on the holidays
– Christmas limericks
– Our annual Gay German reading of A Visit From St Nicholas
– Clamboy’s obscure Xmas countdown, Darryl from Beaverdale & more
– A special visit from Cousin Todd w/ Gifts
– A Jerry’s Happy Note
– It’s Read S-E-X-X-Y
– An additional ton of Christmas fun!
– So much more, your head will spin!
Podcast: Hear EMR via new window | Download