Thank you, Fred Collins, and good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Today, as a change from our usual serious dramatic fare, we’re presenting a comedy. Now, because we feel that a sense of humor is a rather personal thing, different with each individual, we are leaving it entirely up to you, in your own living room, to laugh or not as you see fit. In our efforts to amuse you, we have managed to obtain the services of two of the funniest actors…that…we…oh fuck. Scratch that. It’s just your regulars EMR motherfuckers sitting in, doing what we do. This is the 406th time we’ve done it. Enjoy!
YOUR HOSTS: TOM & GARRY
YOUR HAPPY BASTARD: JERRY
YOUR CINEMATIC TITANIC: PAULIE
“Women think I’m tasty, but they’re
_always trying to waste me. Make
_me burn the candle right down.
_But, baby, baby don’t need no
_jewels in my crown. ‘Cause all you
_women is low down gamblers.
_Cheatin’ like I don’t know how.
_Baby, got no flavor, fever in the
_funk house now. This low down
_bitchin’ got my poor feet a itchin’.
_Don’t you know, you know the
_deuce is still wild. Baby, I can’t
_stay, you got to roll me, and call
_me the tumblin’ dice. Always in a
_hurry, I never stop to worry. Don’t
_you see the time flashin’ by? Honey,
_got no money. I’m all sixes and
_sevens and nines. Say now, baby,
_I’m the rank outsider. You can be
_my partner in crime. Baby, I can’t
_stay, you got to roll me and call me
_the tumblin’. Roll me and call me
_the tumblin’. Call me the tumblin’
_dice now, baby. Oh my.“
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